Growing Up London
by The Lori C
Summary: The sequel to "All He Needed."
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Mac: Age 17**

**Kira: Age 14**

**Michael: Age 10**

**Naomi: Age 8**

"**MIKEY, GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE WITH THAT!" **Mac bellowed at her younger brother, chasing him downstairs.

Ten year old Michael giggled, taunting her while waving her journal in the air. "Mac kissed a boy! Mac kissed a boy!"

"I'm going to kill you, you little pig!"

"What on earth is going on?" Montana asked

"Mikey's been in my room again and found my journal. He's being a nosy pig," Mac snorted. "God, little kids drive me _crazy!"_

"Short trip," Michael laughed. "_Mami, _Mac kissed a boy!"

"Michael Preston London, you have no business being in Mackenzie's room, much less being in her things. Now you give that back to her."

He gave Montana a sheepish look before handing the journal back to Mac.

"Thank you," Mac said, annoyed.

"Now you can go back upstairs and finish your homework," Montana told her, "and I don't want to hear you on that phone or see you on IM until all of it is done."

"Yes ma'am," Mac nodded before she went back upstairs.

"As for you, young man, you are on time out and we are having a talk. Go sit down. You should be thankful your dad isn't here or you would have a warm butt instead."

"Girls are no fun except Kira and Nomi," Michael pouted. "How come you didn't have more boys?"

"That's just the way things turned out, sweetheart. We've been through this before."

"I miss _Papi."_

"I know you do. But his job requires him to be gone a lot, remember?"

Michael nodded. "Uh huh."

"Still, honey, it doesn't give you an excuse to torment your sister all the time. Why do you bother Mac so much anyway? You get along so well with Kira and Naomi."

"Because Mac is crabby," Michael replied. "She used to be nice when we were little."

Montana smiled a little. "Michael," she began, "Mac is growing up. She's in her last year of high school and will be going off to college next year. She's more into things at school and boys her age, things like that. When you grow up like her, you'll have different things you'll be interested in too."

"Kira has friends her age too," he protested, "but she isn't crabby. She's nice to me and Nomi."

"Kira has a whole different personality," Montana chuckled. "But no more bothering Mac, all right? I want you to sit here and think about it a little more and then you can go play."

"Can Leif come over?" Michael asked.

"Let me talk to his mom and see," Montana nodded. "He's probably doing his homework right now anyway."

_Meanwhile:_

Mariah sat at the table and sighed, staring at the letter from Leif's school. God, Brian was really going to blow a gasket when he saw this, or maybe not.

It wouldn't be the first time they had gotten letters, emails or phone calls from school about Leif. From the time he had gone into first grade, though small, Leif was a scrapper and had been in constant fights, if not acting up in class or just clowning around.

In addition to a slight hearing difficulty, he was also dyslexic and had ADHD, despite showing early signs of being both atheletic and artistically gifted. Even with his limitations, Leif made decent grades, though he did struggle in math and reading, but he had a tutor to help him along.

Now his teacher had sent home a letter, saying Leif was having problems seeing the board and sitting too close to the computer monitors.

_Oh God, _she thought. _Would it ever end with this boy? _

Leif was barely nine years old and it seemed like she and Brian had already been through a lifetime with that child.

They hadn't had any more children after he was born; it had been too close of a call when Leif had been born early after the accident. The idea that their son was even _alive_ at all was a miracle in itself, and other than his few present disabilities, he seemed to be high functioning. With the right environment, it was likely Leif would live as normal a life as possible after all.

Being friends with Michael seemed to be a good influence on him, even though Michael had gotten his own father's sense of protectiveness and Latino temperment and had his own moments of being a firebrand.

Still, Mariah figured she had better get in gear and make an appointment with an eye doctor; she phoned Leif's pediatrician. It could have been worse than her son possibly needing glasses; at least this time, he wasn't fighting with someone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"That sounds like a complicated case, Shaun," Mariah said on the phone. "So tell me, how do they do the DNA profile thing again?"

Mariah strained to listen as Shaun explained on the other end before stopping her. "Hold on a sec."

Mariah put the phone down. "Leif, will you _please_ turn that TV down? I can barely hear on the phone."

"Huh?" Leif asked, turning away from the screen.

"Do you even have your hearing aid in? And where are your glasses?"

"Um….in the room."

"One goes in your ear and the other goes on your nose," Mariah scolded. "Your dad paid good money for–"

"Yeah, I know," Leif rolled his eyes. "I'll go get them so I can look like a geek."

"They're to help you see the TV and read better, and your hearing aid helps you hear better so you don't blast out the neighborhood with all that noise. And don't roll your eyes at me, mister."

"Can I go over Mikey's?" he asked.

"Is your homework done?"

"Yessum."

"Then I guess it's all right. But don't give Montana any trouble."

"I won't!" Leif promised.

"And turn off the TV; your dad and I don't own stock in the electric company."

"Yeah, Mom."

Mariah went back to the phone. "Sorry about that. I had to deal with another Leif issue."

"He's growing up fast," Shaun chuckled. "Seems it wasn't long ago you just brought him home from the hospital."

"Yes, and I think compared to diapers and colic back then to nagging him to put in a hearing aid, do his homework and wear his glasses, I'll take the lesser of two evils. Lord knows what Brian and I will be dealing with when he gets to high school."

"I thought Leif had one of those internal hearing aids that no one can see."

"He does, and it cost Brian a fortune. But Leif complains it 'bothers' him sometimes. Luckily, he also knows sign language and is a lip reader."

"The ADHD….are the meds working?" Shaun wondered.

"They seem to be so far. I haven't gotten any more letters from school about him acting up, not yet anyway. And he's been going to group therapy, which I think helped some too. But I didn't tell his dad one thing."

"What's that?"

"Leif took apart Brian's good watch and tried to put it back together."

"Oh no!" Shaun cried.

"Actually, he put it back _perfectly," _Mariah said. "Nine years old and every tiny piece in place. The thing works better now than it did before Leif took it apart."

"Something tells me you may have a budding engineer on your hands."

"Perhaps. Funny thing, though, is I doubt he'd finished that before he'd gone on the medication. Nevertheless, the psychologist wants him tested."

"Tested? For what?"

"Oh, a basic intelligence test. I said I'd discuss it with his dad first before I gave them an answer. Leif's been through enough testing in his life since he was a baby; there's no point doing any more unless it was necessary. Right now, he's on his way over to Montana's to team up with Mike to drive _her_ crazy."

_A short time later:_

Michael and Leif had finished playing some video games and ate pizza afterwards. They were now upstairs. Naomi had gone to play with some friends, Kira was working on a book report for school, and Mac was on her laptop, instant messaging a boyfriend.

"I can't believe your mom let us eat in the living room," Leif said. "Mine yells if Dad much as eats a bowl of cereal in ours."

"_Mami's_ okay," Michael nodded. "She probably figures if _Papi_ does dumb stuff, she may as well let us do them too."

He then pulled out Leif's eyeglass case. "What's this?"

"Just my dorky glasses. Mom made me take them. They make me look like a freak."

"Can I try them on?"

"You can _have_ them."

"No, your _mami_ would get mad. I'll just try them on."

Michael put them on and walked over to a mirror. "Hey, these look cool. I feel all funny, but they're cool."

"Yeah?"

"Uh huh. Did you know _Papi _has some?"

"No way!" Leif exclaimed.

"Yeah, he has two of them. He takes one of them with him when he travels and leaves the others here. Come on, I'll show you."

The two boys walked into the den, where Michael took something out of Paul's desk. "See?" He then put the glasses on.

Leif snickered. "Those look really goofy."

Just then, Kira has passed by the den. "Mikey!" she cried. "What are you doing in here? You know you could get in trouble if _Mami_ catches you, especially if you're in _Papi's_ desk!"

"Just showing Leif _Papi's _glasses," Michael answered.

"Well, put them back; nobody's supposed to be in his desk. I don't want you guys in trouble. Be glad it was me who came through here and not Mac. You know _she_ would have snitched."

"Yeah, we know." Leif rolled his eyes.

"She's too busy with her creepy boys anyway," Michael added. "Todd said she's a skank."

"Mikey! _Mami_ better not hear you talking like that."

"Well, he did," Michael nodded.

"What's a skank?" Leif asked.

"Never mind," Kira replied, putting her father's glasses back in the drawer. "Now both of you get out of here."

"Come on," Michael said. "Let's go find something else to do."

_Meanwhile:_

Mac had gone downstairs, on the phone to yet another friend and making plans for the coming weekend. Much as she loved her father, it drove her nuts the way Paul always grilled her friends, and she was grateful he would be away that weekend.

After assuring Montana that the event would be chaperoned (but didn't specify by whom), Mac had then proceeded to phone her friend Tonya and the two girls had been chatting away.

She had just gotten up to go to the kitchen for a soda as Leif was digging through some of Michael's things, looking for something for them to do, before pulling out some strange looking thing.

"Hey, Mikey, what's this?" he wondered.

"Oh, that's a joke. Wait a minute…..I have an idea. Give me that."

"What are you going to do?"

"Come here a minute; I'll tell you," Michael answered.

He proceeded to whisper in Leif's ear, nodding toward where Mac had been sitting. Both boys snickered, then went over to the chair, shoving the joke item under the cushion, then hiding just as Mac returned.

Just as she sat down, a noise resembling a loud fart filled the room, causing Mac to cry out and the boys to break out laughing.

"Mac farted!" Michael howled.

"**LEIF KENDRICK AND MICHAEL LONDON, GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE! **I'm going to kill you, you two little bastards!" Mac yelled, then went back to her call. "I'll call you back, Tonya. First I need to rip apart some little boy and his evil blond midget of a friend."

Kira just passed through at that moment, barely keeping a straight face. "Seriously, you have gas issues, Mac. They make Beano for that stuff."

"Oh, you're hilarious, Sissy," Mac snapped. "Now where did those two shits go?"

"That way," Kira fibbed, pointing in the opposite direction, before quickly ushering the boys the other way.

"Thanks, Kira," Leif said, still giggling.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapeter 3**

"EWWWWW, GIRL!" Leif said, pointing at Naomi.

"EWWWWW, BOY WITH YELLOW HAIR!" Naomi responded before going upstairs.

Michael rolled his eyes; it was always the same exchange each time his baby sister and Leif saw each other.

"Dude, why don't you just admit you like my sister already?" he sighed.

"Oh yeah, I like a _girl_." Leif made a face. "Don't you know they have cooties?"

"Hey, I resent that," Kira said, looking up from her magazine. "I could have had Mac find and killed you two after that whoopee cushion prank you pulled on her the other day, you know."

"I don't think he meant _all_ girls," Michael winked at his older sister, and then poked Leif. "_Didn't you_, Leif?"

Leif finally got it. "Um….yeah, right. And count our moms in not having cooties too."

"That's better," Kira grinned.

"Are you boys studying?" Montana called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, _Mami," _Michael answered. "Dumb old math."

"It sucks," Leif agreed. "Mikey, what is this?"

"300 minus 144. Think about it, Leif."

"I think I'm too stupid for this."

"No you're not. You just read different. It's no big deal. Here, I can tell you how to do it. Put a one by the first zero to make a ten and subtract from the four."

"Six?"

"Right. Now the next zero, you 'borrow' like they showed us in class. Cross it out and make a nine over it. Now subtract the nine from four."

"Five!"

"There you go. Next you will borrow again. Cross out the three and put a two and subtract it from the one."

"That's easy enough. One."

"Okay. You got your answer."

"One fifty six."

"Now add it to the 144 to check it."

Leif did. "Three hundred!"

"See? You aren't so stupid," Michael grinned.

Kira looked up and smiled. "Anyone that can fix a DVD player that _Papi_ had apart for weeks and make it _work perfectly _again can't be too stupid anyway."

"Yeah," Michael agreed. "_Papi's _really going to be surprised when he sees that! But it's like what he and Uncle Spanky say; sometimes we're better at some things than others. My thing is science, math, writing, and sports. Leif, your things are art, sports, and putting things together. It's what makes us……_us!"_

"Ah, nothing like wisdom coming from the mouth of a ten year old," Kira chuckled, going back to her magazine.

_Meanwhile:_

"He did _what?" _Mariah asked.

"Leif fixed the DVD player Paul had in six million pieces for God knows how long," Montana replied.

"Oh dear God…."

"Every piece in place and it's working like brand new," Montana added proudly. "I can hardly wait to see Paul's reaction to _this."_

"Yeah, I bet. Brian still thinks his good watch was fixed at the jeweler's. I don't have the heart to tell him it was taken apart and put back together in better condition by a _nine year old."_

"Did you ever set up that testing for Leif you were telling me about the other day?" Montana wondered.

"Yes. I thought I'd take Leif in before his dad got back. We're going tomorrow after he gets in from school."

"Keep me posted on what you find out. I will admit I'm quite curious."

"To be honest, Montana, so am I, especially since this fascination of his with taking things apart and putting them back together came to pass lately. By the way, is he doing his homework?"

"Michael's helping with his math, at least between the moments Leif was heckling poor Naomi."

Mariah had to laugh. "If I didn't know any better, I swear that child has a crush on her. He can 'eww, girl!' her all he wants, but some of us know better."

"I won't argue there," Montana said. "I say it's only a matter of time before they're going to the prom."

"Oh gosh, woman, don't talk about that just yet! I feel ancient enough as it is!"

"You and I both. My God, it's hard to believe Mac's going to be graduating next June. It seems like yesterday she was only in first grade and I'd just married her dad."

"How has Mr. Excitement been anyway?" Mariah asked.

"The usual line between goofy and grumpy," Montana laughed. "And the kids _still_ think they can get away with murder when he's home."

"Well, at least Leif knows that _isn't_ the case here," Mariah replied, "although he tries to test me when his dad's gone. I will admit I'm more lax on some things than Brian, but Leif knows overall there's rules he has to stick to. Now if we can both get that child from keeping his room looking like a war zone, it will be a miracle in the making."

"I think that must be a stage most kids go through."

"How on earth do you get Michael to keep his so neat?"

"He and Kira got their dad's anal retentiveness," Montana responded. "Too bad Mac and Naomi didn't, though."

"_Mami!" _Michael called from the living room. _"Papi's _on IM! He says get your butt off the phone."

"Speaking of the devil," Montana said. "I guess that's my cue to get off of here. I have to start dinner eventually anyway. Leif can stay if that's fine with you."

"Sure, no problem," Mariah agreed. "I won't have to cook anything then. Just make sure he doesn't eat you out of house and home. He got that from _his_ dad too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"You're serious?" Shaun asked a few days later.

"That is absolutely amazing," Montana said.

"I know," Mariah nodded. "I couldn't believe it myself when Dr. Henderson told me the scores on Leif's tests. I rather suspected something was up, but I never thought it would be this good. I mean, the functioning IQ of a _fourteen year old? _He's only nine."

"Maybe that was part of the problem why Leif was acting up in school," Montana suggested. "He was bored."

"Brian thought about that too," Mariah replied. "I thought it was Leif's ADHD and him being frustrated with being dyslexic, but both of those were improving. He was still being a class clown. Now we may have some idea what's happening. Of course, his reading and math scores were still low, but he was practically 'off the charts' in other areas of the tests according to the psychologist."

"While on the subject, did Brian ever find out about the watch thing?" Shaun wondered.

Mariah nodded, smiling. "After Leif's test scores came out, I finally had to confess. To say Brian was floored would be an understatement."

"I can imagine," Montana laughed. "You two should have had a camera to record the look on Paul's face when I told him it was Leif who fixed the DVD player. I doubt he ever considered he'd get his behind owned by a _nine year old _in the mechanically inclined department."

"But look how much money he saved not having it fixed by a professional," Shaun pointed out.

"And Leif probably did a far better job," Montana agreed. "So, Mariah, did the psychologist make any suggestions?"

"With the exceptions of math and reading, he's recommending more advanced classes," Mariah responded. "He thinks if Leif has a bit more of a challenge, perhaps he won't clown around so much in class."

"He should have his own mini repair shop while he's at it," Shaun joked.

"Good lord, Shaun, you sound like his dad now," Mariah laughed. "Last I checked in, Leif was down the street fixing Mr. Domingo's lawn mower."

"I still say you have a budding engineer on your hands," Shaun grinned.

"Or even a criminalist," Montana added. "The kid gets straight A's in _chemistry. _I was lucky to pass it at all at that age."

"Well, once Leif improves in math and reading, I have a feeling the sky will be the limit for him," Mariah said proudly.

_Meanwhile:_

"Who would have thought of all people, a dumb ass like _you _wouldhave a smart kid?" Paul asked jokingly. "He must have gotten it from _Mimi's_ side."

"Shut up!" Brian laughed, giving him a playful punch. "We all know the truth, you're just jealous."

"Seriously, dude, it couldn't happen to a better kid," Paul smiled. "Little Leif, Boy Genius."

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say 'genius', but he could give a fourteen year old a run for their money apparently."

"I should have known something was up. Any kid that can fix a watch, DVD player and a lawn mower and have all of them working in A-1 condition couldn't be too much of a dummy."

"Yeah, well, try telling _him _that," Brian sighed.

"So he's a bit lax in reading and doing math, so what?" Paul replied. "It wasn't my best stuff either, and I'm not a boy genius by a long shot."

"Nor were they mine," Brian agreed. "Shit, I think they gave me my diploma because they felt sorry for me."

"I think I got mine because they wanted to get rid of _me," _Paul cracked.

"Yeah, Mr. 'I Was In the Principal's Office Once a Week'. I can see your point. Speaking of school, is Mikey going out for basketball this year?"

"I've been working with him when I can and he's talked about it, so I'm guessing he is," Paul replied. "Of course, he runs pretty fast too, and we've been getting suggestions for him to go out for track when he gets to junior high."

"Jesus, that isn't for a couple of years yet."

"I know! Still, I guess it isn't too early to think about it."

"I guess in my case it isn't too early to think about colleges for Leif either."

Paul laughed. "You aren't kidding there. Between his talents for putting things together, art and sports, that boy of yours is going to go places."

Just then, Michael walked in the door.

"Hey, here comes the other talented kid," Brian grinned.

"Huh?" Michael asked. "What's going on?"

"Just talking about Leif, buddy," Paul replied. "He had a bunch of tests done and they found out he's really smart."

Michael rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I could have told you all that without a bunch of dumb tests. All you got to do is show Leif something once or twice and he knows how to do it. Sometimes you don't even have to show him at all."

They stared at the boy as he went upstairs to do his homework.

"Sometimes I have to wonder if _that one _has a few more smarts than Montana and I think too," Paul said thoughtfully.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Michael and Leif had been wrestling around in the living room playfully one evening when Mariah came in and saw them.

"Hey, hey!" she chided. "Leif Brian, if you're going to tear around like that, take it outside."

"I was showing Mikey the move Dad taught me. Besides, Dad doesn't care where we do stuff."

Mariah rolled her eyes. "I should have known he was behind this. Brian!"

"What?" he called from the back.

"Have we not discussed _not _letting your son wrestle and tear around with his friends in the house?"

"It's cold out and it will be dark in an hour anyway," Brian protested.

_Why do I talk to these two again? _Mariah thought. _This is what I get for being in a house full of **males.**_

"Well, then, he has the whole basement," she finally responded. "The living room isn't a wrestling arena."

"Jesus," Brian said. "Then let them go to the basement if it makes you happy. Just don't bitch at me if Paul slits my throat because Mikey breaks his skull open down there. Meanwhile, I have the cat's shit box to finish cleaning."

"Ewww, cat poop!" Michael made a face.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Dad, where's the trimmer thing for Squishy's claws? I think they need done again," Leif said.

"In the kitchen junk drawer, but you better leave that to me unless you want to be scratched to death, buddy," Brian replied. "Squish isn't exactly a huge fan of that thing."

"Okay. Anyway, he's out here sitting and staring your way."

"He's waiting for me to put the box back down so he can initiate it again. He does that stunt every time the box gets cleaned."

"Leif, don't you have homework?" Mariah asked.

"It's done!" he replied, "and it's Friday anyway. Hey, can Mikey stay for dinner?"

"Let me call Montana and ask, okay?"

"Cool. You're not making anything gross, are you?"

"Not unless you consider bacon cheeseburgers and fries gross."

"AWESOME!" Leif called.

"It isn't that veggie burger bullshit, is it?" Brian asked teasingly.

"No, dear, it's _real_ burger," Mariah laughed. "Those days are long past since your son came along."

Leif bent down to pet the cat. "And don't worry, Squishy, anything that drops on the floor is yours."

Mariah gave him a skeptical look. "Uh huh. Just make sure you don't 'drop' too much on the floor, young man. Now go wash up while I give Montana a call."

_Meanwhile:_

"I can't believe you won't let me go," Mac snorted.

"Mac, we've been through this," Paul said. "No mixed parties that aren't chaperoned."

"I'm almost eighteen, not a little kid," she protested. "Good grief, _Papi, _I'll be off to college next year."

"And until then, you follow the rules of this house, _hija_," he replied.

"You are so not fair."

"Life isn't fair, Mac. You'll find that out as you get older. The answer is no."

"You are such a mule!" Mac cried before going upstairs and slamming the door. "I hate you!"

"_Oquela," _Paul sighed. _Teenagers, _he thought. _What happened to the sweet little Mackenzie_ _that thought he did no wrong?_

Naomi came over and crawled on his lap. "It's okay, _Papi," _she grinned up at him, green eyes shining. "I still love you."

He couldn't help but smile down at the sweet face that stared up, his mood suddenly changing.

"Well, thanks, _princesa, _you're a little ray of sunshine."

"Will you check my homework for me? _Mami's_ busy."

"Sure, baby, what do you have here?"

"Spelling," Naomi replied, handing it over.

"Not one of my better subjects, but what the hell."

Kira then walked in the door from her baby-sitting job. "Hi, guys. I'm not too late getting back, am I? Ms. Doyle had a delay getting back from her meeting."

"Not at all," Paul said.

"Wow, what smells good?" she asked.

"Spaghetti," Montana called from the kitchen.

"Fantastic!"

Montana had to laugh. "One thing about you, Kira, it doesn't take much to make you happy."

"You're right about that, _Mami!" _she answered.

Kira then came in and tussled Naomi's hair. "Hey there, baby doll. Have a good day at school?"

"Uh huh. _Papi's_ checking my homework," Naomi said proudly.

"Where's Mac and Michael?" Kira inquired, looking around.

"Mikey's staying over at Leif's for dinner and Mac's having a pout fest upstairs because I wouldn't let her go to a party at Tonya's tonight," Paul said.

"Ugh, Tonya," Kira wrinkled her nose. "What a stuck up wench. And a lot of people she hangs out with do drugs. I don't see why Mac even bothers with that crowd."

"Which is one reason your sister isn't going to that party," Paul nodded. "I've heard a few stories about those stoner friends of Tonya's from Beverly and Brian. Of course, I didn't mention _that _part to Mac."

"What's a stoner?" Naomi wondered.

"Something _Papi_ will talk to you about when you're a bigger girl," Paul replied.

"Okay. It must be grown-up stuff then. Is my homework okay?"

"You did a great job, kiddo."

Naomi beamed. "Thanks, _Papi."_

"You're welcome. Go get ready for dinner."

They both watched as Naomi skipped away.

"If only she and Mikey could stay at their ages," Paul said.

"Yeah," Kira agreed, "but then again, what fun would there be in that after awhile?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Good thing you really cracked down on not letting Mac go to that party, PL," Brian said on the phone later that night.

"Oh yeah?" Paul asked. "Why not?"

"Bev didn't tell you and Montana? There was just a big drug bust over there. Weed, booze, crack, ecstasy, you name any cocktail, those kids had it over there."

"Fucking hell," Paul sighed, "and to think Mac said she hated me for not letting her go. So how did this all go down?"

"You know about Old Lady Kleto down the street, right? The one with six thousand cats that's always yelling at Leif to stay out of her yard?"

"Yeah. What about her?"

"Evidently there was a bunch of noise at that party or whatever the hell it was and she called the cops. They showed up and I guess they found a bounty of drugs all over the place. Next thing we knew, the paddy wagons showed up and they hauled a bunch of kids out of here, including Mac's bosom buddy Tonya."

"Holy shit!" Paul cried.

"There were some news trucks down there too. It might be on the eleven o'clock news if you want to check it out."

"Jesus. Good thing Mac didn't do anything stupid like insisting on going or sneaking out. _Sabes que, _the last thing I need is my kid involved in a drug bust on the news_"_

"You aren't kidding. Judging by the number of the kids they dragged out of that house, it looked like half of Mac's class."

Just then, Kira burst in the door from visiting Brady across the street. "_Papi, _did you hear about–"

Paul stopped her. "Brian's telling me all about it now."

"Sure sucks to be that stuck up druggie wench Tonya now," she said with a snicker, and then went upstairs.

Paul shook his head before going back to his phone call for a few more minutes before they hung up. He then sighed with relief, thinking how much worse this evening could have turned out, and how glad he was all four kids were home safe with him and Montana.

_A little bit later:_

"_Papi?"_

Paul turned around, seeing Mac behind him.

"Hey," he said. "What's up?"

"Kira told me about the bust," she replied, sitting down beside him. "I guess you really did make me stay home for a reason.."

"Now do you see why I'm strict about things sometimes?"

Mac smiled and nodded. "Yeah. And I'm sorry for saying I hated you earlier. I really don't."

"I know, _princesa. _Sometimes we say things we don't mean when we're mad."

"_Papi?"_

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you didn't let me go tonight." Mac then gave him a hug."I love you so much. You're the best _papi _in the world!"

"I love you too, baby. Sometimes your _mami_ and I may not seem like we do, but we wouldn't be so hard about certain things if we didn't love you girls and Mikey. Got that?"

"I do," Mac nodded, looking up at him with a smile. "Sometimes I have to wonder if you're psychic, though."

"All part of being a parent, _hija," _Paul replied with a chuckle.

"There is something else I wanted to ask, though."

"Oh God."

"I was wondering if I could go flying with Josh and his parents tomorrow."

Paul perked up. "The Mormon kid? He's a pretty nice boy."

Mac couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes, _Papi, _they're Mormons."

"Ahhh, I think you're pretty safe in that case. Sure, no problem. Now those are the kind of kids you should be hanging out with."

Mac kissed his cheek. "Thank you. So what's good on TV?"

"Turning on the news in a few and then maybe pop in a movie if you want to hang out with your old man."

Mac cuddled up to her father. "After what I've put you through earlier, right now, I can't think of a better person I'd rather be with."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"What's the matter with you?" Montana asked later when Paul came to bed.

"My oldest daughter no longer hates me," he said with a grin.

"I really don't think Mac hated you to begin with," she shook her head.. "It's a teenage thing."

"Call it a parent thing or whatever, Mon, but I just had a bad feeling about that party tonight, and you know I wasn't too crazy about her hanging out with that Tonya character. It turns out, I was right. Brian said they had a drug bust down there."

"I know," Montana said. "Beverly told me when I was over there earlier."

"Could you imagine if I _had_ let Mac go? Jesus, the news sites would have had a field day with that shit, and you know how I am about clean living and stuff."

"But of course. That's part of your appeal. You know, I really think that's why the other three look up to you so much."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely. Naomi thinks you practically do no wrong and it wouldn't surprise me if Michael follows in your footsteps. And we know how Kira feels about you from the time she was little."

"Imagine that. Me, a role model."

"You're more of one than you think, big man," Montana reassured him. "When your own kids look up to you, you're definitely doing something right."

"I honestly think I may have gotten through to Mac anyway," Paul replied.

"Given the events earlier this evening, I would have to agree."

"She wants to go flying with that Mormon kid and his parents tomorrow."

"Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun!"

"Yeah, it does. I didn't see a problem with it, especially since she's interested in getting a pilot's license when she turns eighteen."

"Wait…_what?"_

"I didn't tell you that part?"

Montana gave him a look. "No, you didn't."

"It isn't a commercial license or anything, so relax. Just to fly small planes. I figured if Mac went with this Josh kid or whatever his name is, she'd get some experience before she turned eighteen, then maybe take some lessons from there. Hell, she could be doing worse."

"Yes……true."

"I know you're not a big fan of flying, babe, but it doesn't mean the kids have to be scared shitless of it."

"Well, I guess if she has someone with her that knows what they're doing, maybe it won't be so bad."

Paul grinned again. "Now you're coming around to thinking positively. Now let's get some sleep."

_The next day:_

"God, Abraham, and Moses," Mariah groaned. "Thank goodness I have a place to go that actually has _females_ in it."

"Why, what's the matter?" Montana asked.

"It isn't bad enough I had to listen to Brian's snoring symphony last night tenfold since he had that cold, now I spent all morning with him and Leif in a _belching contest."_

"Good grief." Montana made a face. "At least Paul hasn't done that with Michael. _Yet."_

"Count your blessings. What's next for those two, a contest emitting gas from the _other_ end? Why couldn't I have had a sweet little girl like Naomi?"

"Hey, Leif isn't all bad; he has brains."

"Keep him around his father much longer, he may lose those too. So what's this I hear about Mac out flying?"

"She's with a friend of hers and his parents. Mac has this thing about getting her pilot's license when she turns eighteen."

"Say what?" Mariah was shocked.

"My initial reaction too when Paul told me last night. Apparently the two of them had a long chat last night."

"Wow, a real father-daughter sit down, huh?"

"I guess so. They were downstairs until at least one in the morning anyway. They were watching a movie and talking."

"Since when does Paul let anyone talk during a movie?"

"I guess considering the circumstances at the time, he made an exception for Mac."

"Hey, did you see the paper today? God, it must suck to be the parents of those kids that were taken in for drugs last night."

"And to think Mac would have been one of them had Paul not been insistent that she not go to that party. She would have been in a cell instead of on a small aircraft today. I doubt she would have taken anything, but still……"

"Mac would have gone with the rest of those kids anyway," Mariah finished.

"Exactly. And her dad has enough headaches in his own career without dealing with that kind of thing. I think Mac realizes that now after such a close call."

"You aren't kidding there."

"But on to more positive things," Montana smiled. "What is this I hear about Leif being moved to gifted classes?"

"Well, most of them. He's still in the regular classes for math and reading. Now if his dad and I can get Leif to keep his damn glasses on while he's doing his work, we may accomplish something. If that isn't bad enough, I caught him trying to light his own farts the other night."

"Good lord!" Montana exclaimed.

"He said it was some kind of experiment to see if it can really be done, but my guess is that he got that craziness off of Brian."

"I'm guessing nothing caught on fire then."

"No, which is a miracle. Now he wants a chemistry set for his birthday."

"Wow, that's a first. Most kids want video games and whatnot," Montana replied. "I don't think I've heard anyone wanting chemistry sets for _years."_

"He has this interest in science all of the sudden. I'm guessing he got that from Michael, so I shouldn't complain."

"Given his fascination with taking things apart and putting them together, along with figuring out the how's and why's of thing working, I can't say I'm shocked."

"Well," Mariah smiled, "as long as he's going to use it for something constructive when he gets older, it's safe to say I won't mind my son having this kind of hobby."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Montana and Paul had been preparing the trash for him to take out to the Dumpster; she had emptied a few more things before getting everything together in a large bag.

"Here, let me hold it open while you stick it all in," she said.

Grinning, Paul went for the fly on his jeans. "Well, if you insist, _mi amor."_

She smacked him playfully. "Paul! Quit goofing off; the kids are in the next room."

"_Oquela, _there's always something to kill the mood."

"Seriously, we need to get this out before the trash collector comes."

"Yeah. Anyway, I'm guessing you heard the latest by now."

"About Mariah's 'stomach bug' not being one after all? Yes, and I have to admit I was rather shocked."

"You weren't the only one. I thought Spanky was going to shit enough bricks to build another house."

"I'm sure. It seems these things always happen when one isn't planning on any more children, kind of like we were around the time I got pregnant with Naomi."

"Lucky for us, _we_ won't have to worry about that issue anymore."

"No, I think four kids are plenty, though it would have been nice to have another boy."

"Yeah, but I think Mikey's content with things the way they are. I know I am."

"I wonder how Leif is taking all of this?" Montana wondered.

"Hard to tell. Poor kid probably doesn't know what to think. Thing is, by the time this kid is old enough to start school, Leif will already be in high school or close to it."

"I guess this means they'll have to find another house too."

"No, Brian's got this idea to have another room built on. Jesus, what a disaster that will be."

"Or maybe not," Montana said hopefully.

"You heard about the disasters with Leif's nursery," Paul replied. "Can you imagine building on another part of a house? _Oquela. _I hope the hell Brian's going to hire someone for _that_ project."

"I'm guessing that is going to be likely," Montana nodded, handing him the bag. "Here, something to take to the Dumpster."

"Why me?"

"Because it's getting dark for one, and two, I took it out the last time."

"Oh, right. I should be happy it's just household garbage and not loaded diapers like Spanky's going to be dealing with a few months down the road. I'll be back in a few."

_Meanwhile:_

"This freaking sucks," Leif groaned as he hung out in his room with Michael.

"What's sucky about being a brother?" Michael asked. "I got three sisters, one of them being Mac's fugly butt. What can be worse than _that?"_

"My mom and dad are too _old_ to have a baby," Leif protested. "Then it's going to be really embarrassing having her stomach sticking out when she comes to school for things. I want to hide."

"Maybe it will be a boy! That would be cool to have a little brother."

"Mikey, I'll be a lot older than this goofy baby, no matter what it is."

"So? It will be kind of like Mac with me and Nomi. It isn't that bad."

"Well, at least we won't have to move. Dad's getting a room built on to our house."

"Cool!"

"Yeah, leave the screaming poop machine downstairs," Leif replied.

"I bet you'll really like the baby when your mom has it," Michael smiled. "Want to know a secret?"

"Do tell," Leif sighed.

"_Mami _told me when she was having me that Kira thought she wouldn't be loved any more when I came. But when I did, she really liked me and we were always close and stuff. And when _Mami _was having Nomi, I was kind of little, but I liked her too, even if she was another girl."

"And?"

"I'm just saying you should at least try to give it a chance," Michael nodded.

"Okay, as long as Mom doesn't make me do anything with it that's really gross, I guess I can try. But it still kind of sucks."

"Nah, she'll probably make your dad do the gross stuff," Michael laughed. "Like _Mami_ says I used to pee on _Papi _a lot when I was a baby and he was changing me."

"Yeah, Grandma said I threw up on Dad a few times too," Leif howled.

"We probably did all kinds of funny stuff," Michael said.

"Hey, I just thought of something."

"What?"

"You don't think we'll have to get rid of Squishy, do you?" Leif asked. "I hear a cat suffocates babies."

"Leif, that's what _Mami_ calls an 'old wives tale.' Squishy won't do anything to the baby. He might look at it funny or something, but he won't suffocate it."

"Oh…good. Nobody mentioned getting rid of him yet, but I was kind of wondering anyway."

Michael then looked at the clock. "I got to get home; it's starting to get dark and _Mami_ will yell if I'm not home by dark. I'll see you in school tomorrow. Just don't worry about that baby stuff. It will work out, you'll see!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"You sure Mimi isn't having twins?" Paul asked curiously a few months later. "Looks pretty big for being just as far along as she is."

"Uh….." Montana began.

"Jesus, you are not about to say it!"

She nodded. "Mariah's doctor confirmed it today. She's having twins. Girls."

"Oh fucking hell. Does Papa know by any chance?"

"If he didn't, he probably does by now."

"Fantastic, and we have another tri-brand show coming up. Ten bucks says I'll have to listen to Spanky bitch about _this _all weekend."

"Hey, he listened to you ramble on when I was having Naomi. Don't even start whining."

"Uh, yeah, but you weren't having twins. _Oquela. _I never thought Midget had swimmers that strong. Good God, poor Leif, though. I can't even begin to imagine the poor kid's reaction when he finds _this_ out."

"I don't know," Montana replied. "He may like it. He's finally warmed up to the idea of a baby sibling anyway. He wasn't very thrilled with the idea at first, but now he's getting into it."

"Wait until he finds out there's going to be two of them," Paul said.

_Meanwhile:_

"Huh?" Leif asked when Mariah gave him the news. "_Two babies? _How did that happen?"

"I've been asking myself that," she answered with a chuckled.

"Does Dad know?"

"Oh yes, and he's still scratching his head over this one."

"Yeah, I'm kind of confused too. How can there be two babies? Doesn't that kind of hurt or something?"

"_One_ baby can hurt sometimes, Leif, trust me on this."

"Damn, I guess that means we're going to have to buy more stuff, huh?"

"It certainly appears that way."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"We're not going to have to get rid of the cat, are we?"

"Of course we're not getting rid of Squishy. Why would you ask that?"

"Just something I've thought about for awhile. I heard stuff about how cats suffocate babies, but Mikey says they're not true."

"He's right. That's just a myth, Leif. If anything, we might have to have him declawed, but other than that, Squishy won't hurt the babies. Dad and I had the first cat when you were little remember?

"Oh yeah, Jack. He was kind of old, though."

"Well, yes, your dad had him for awhile before you were born."

"So do you know what the babies are?" Leif wondered.

"Yes, they're girls."

"Ewwww!" Leif made a face.

"Honey, I can't exactly choose their gender," Mariah laughed.

"Now I know how Mikey and Uncle Paul feel. Dad and I are going to be outnumbered by _girls."_

"Good grief, you say that like it's a bad thing. Besides, Daddy and I already figured out you really enjoy going to Mikey's just to see Naomi anyway."

"Yeah, Mom, I go right over just to see some annoying, icky girl. I don't think so."

Mariah nodded. "Right. And speaking of which, if you want to go see him later, you need to have that homework done first. Get moving."

_Later:_

"Did you hear, _Papi?" _Michael asked.

"About what?" Paul looked up from his laptop.

"Aunt Mimi is having two babies!"

"So your _mami _told me earlier today."

"How did she get two in her? _Mami _only had one of us at a time."

"Sometimes, things like that tend to happen, Mikey." Paul took a sip of coffee.

"You mean like sex?"

Paul spit out coffee and choked. _"What?"_

"Leif says that's how babies get in the _mamis_. At least that's what Uncle Spanky told him anyway."

"_Oquela," _Paul groaned. _Note to self: Kill Brian_, he thought.

"Mikey," he finally said when he composed himself, "when we get some man time before the end of the week, you and I need to talk about this stuff. I think it's better when it comes from me. Got it?"

Michael shrugged. "Okay."

"I'm sure Leif means well, buddy, but sometimes people can take stuff the wrong way and be, well, not very well informed. So when you and I talk, you'll know some stuff a little better."

"You're going to talk about sex?" Michael's eyes widened.

Paul felt his face get warm. "Uh….yes. I think the time has come, but like I said, we're going to have some man time before the weekend to discuss that."

"Oh boy. This should be something." It was all Michael could do to keep from giggling.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"I just went through torture every _papi_ with a son goes through," Paul said a few nights later.

Montana couldn't help but grin as she put down her book. "Michael filled me in on the details. So you had 'the big talk' with him, huh?"

"Yeah, and the job with Naomi is going to be _yours _when she's old enough. Of course, as far as Mikey goes, better for me to have gotten to him before Spanky decided to corrupt him. Jesus, I can't believe he actually told Leif all that stuff already."

"Paul, it's _Brian. _Remember, this is the one who gave an impromptu sex ed lesson to Mac and Kira when they were kids."

"Oh, right; I forgot. I still owe him an ass kicking for that too."

"I think you're about ten to eleven years too late. Anyway, back to Michael. Did he ask you any tough questions?"

"Not really. It was more of me giving the speech of 'where babies come from', showing him what a rubber was and what it was for, and of course about diseases; all on a ten year old's level, of course."

"I guess that beats him finding a girly magazines in the bathroom when he's eleven," Montana chuckled.

Paul froze. "Where the hell did you hear about that?"

"My beloved mother in law, who else?"

"_Oquela, _I should have known."

"Oh yes, I got the whole story on how you and your brothers found your father's magazine stash in the bathroom."

"Well, it isn't like they were well hidden," Paul countered.

"It's perfectly fine; boys that age are going to be curious, which is why I was happy to hear that you sat down and talked with Michael about something so serious."

"As I said, better me than Brian. He probably gave Leif graphic details, along with visuals, _tam bien."_

"More than likely," Montana agreed. "As if that child isn't too smart for his pants as it is."

"Yeah, nine going on twenty. Jesus. Did Mikey tell you they're working on a project for the science fair? Something about a volcano that actually works."

"Dear God," Montana groaned. "I hope they know what they're doing."

"Which is why I told Mikey to leave the mechanical stuff to Leif," Paul replied. "Anyway, what time is it?"

"Eleven thirty. Why?"

"Okay. Mac's got an hour and a half yet. Her ass is to be back here by one o' clock with my car, preferably with some gas in it."

"Guys?" they heard Kira call from downstairs. "Anyone still up?"

"Up here, Kira," Montana answered. "Don't make a lot of noise, though; Michael and Naomi are in bed."

She peeked in a few minutes later. "Just letting you know I got back okay."

"Home a few minutes early, aren't you, short stuff?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, Kenny's parents came back sooner than they thought. Thank God. He was a total monster tonight. At least I got paid extra."

"Good practice for when you're a _mami."_

"Ha ha, very funny, _Papi."_

"By the way, I hope your calendar is clear tomorrow night. Mimi's got to go out of town for a few hours for her job and Brian and I will be on the road."

"I'm guessing someone wants me to stay with Leif," Kira smiled. "No problem. I'm always open for _him."_

"Thanks, baby. I knew we could count on you as always."

"I'll take Mikey with me to keep Leif occupied. They'll probably either do boy stuff or work on that science project. Neither are really that much trouble."

"Oh, sweetie," Montana said, "someone named Jason called earlier. He says he'll try you back in the morning."

"Who the fuck is Jason?" Paul asked before Kira could reply.

"Down, _Papi. _He's my lab partner for chemistry class at school. He's probably wanting to talk to me about the class project."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh. I guess that's pretty harmless then."

"Yes. I'm going to go to bed now; Kenny's worn me out big time. Sitting with Leif tomorrow will be like a vacation in comparison."

As soon as Kira was gone, Montana turned back to Paul. "Good lord, someone mentions a boy's name and you're like a pit bull," she said.

"It's the Mexican way; we're supposed to be protective of our girls. Besides, it's clear there is no dating until she and Naomi are sixteen. I laid down the same law for Mac when she became a teenager."

"Yes, but there's no law against having boys for _friends_ at fourteen," Montana pointed out. "Didn't you have girls for friends at that age?"

Paul wiggled his eyebrows. "I was chasing girls at thirteen," he joked.

"Good lord, I should have known better than to ask."

He gave her a playful pinch. "Of course, there's only one I want to chase right now. Want to get a head start before I catch you?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Your dad told you about sex like _that?" _Leif asked the next day.

"Yeah. I think _Papi _was kind of embarrassed," Michael answered. "His face would get kind of red when I'd ask some stuff."

Leif began to laugh. "What's so embarrassing? Everybody does it. Dad didn't blush. I'm still trying to figure out the two babies thing, though."

"Yeah, me too."

"Hey," Leif added. "I did find some stuff, though."

Michael gave him a look. "What stuff?"

"Some books Dad had stuffed in this little cubbyhole thing in the den. Want to see?"

"Okay, but we got to watch out for Kira."

"She's downstairs on her phone giggling about girl stuff with Tina. She won't bother us, Mom won't be back until tonight, and Dad's far away until Wednesday."

"So why does your dad hide books in the den?"

"Come look and you'll see," Leif replied mischievously. "You'll really get a lesson about girls."

They had gone into the den; Leif was small enough to climb into the tight space and pull out a few magazines, giving one to Michael. "Here, let's check this one out first."

"How'd you find these?" Michael wondered.

"Just goofing around one day," Leif shrugged as Squishy walked over the open magazine.

"Move, Squishy," he said, picking up the cat. "Goofy furball."

"Wow, girls really _have this stuff?" _Michael asked, wide eyed.

"You got sisters and you never saw this stuff? Geez, dude, you are behind."

"Kind of hard to see them and _Mami_ when the doors are closed all the time, though I hear her and _Papi_ making some weird noises at night sometimes."

"Um, Mikey? That's probably sex. Mom and Dad make that same noise."

"Ewwwwwwwwww!"

"And now she's having twin girls. Eww is right."

"Gee, I'm not having any girls." Michael scrunched his face .

"Me neither," Leif agreed. "They're too dumb and weird."

"They even _look_ weird with no clothes on," Michael said, studying the nude pictures.

"Guys?" they heard Kira call from downstairs. "Where are you? I'm ordering dinner."

"Aw, man!" Leif exclaimed, gathering up the magazines and hurriedly stuffing them in the cubbyhole before the boys went back to his room.

"Oh there are you rascals," Kira grinned, finding them several minutes later. "So anything in particular a couple of hungry guys want to eat?"

"Pizza?" Michael inquired.

"With all kinds of junk on it!" Leif chimed in.

"You boys are going to look like a pizza," Kira laughed, "but okay. Come on down; I have some movies."

"Awesome," Leif nodded before she left to go back downstairs.

"You don't think she suspected anything, do you?" Michael asked lowly.

"I doubt it," Leif shook his head. "Girls are dumb, remember?"

"Well, at least now I know what one looks like with no clothes on. Between that and the sex talk thing from _Papi, _I'm not even sure I want to get married when I grow up."

"Me neither," Leif replied. "Maybe you and me can live together instead. Come on, let's go eat our junk pizza when it gets here."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Kira, why are you back so soon, and what are the boys doing here?" Montana asked.

Mac noticed the anxious look on her sister's face. "Sissy, are you okay?"

"Someone tried to break into the house," Kira answered. "The boys and I had just eaten and were watching a movie when Mikey heard this noise outside. Leif and I were teasing him about imagining stuff because of the movie we were watching, and that was right before the window broke and the alarm went off."

"Oh my God!" Montana gasped. "Did anyone get hurt?"

Kira shook her head. "The security company called and sent the cops out. I called Mrs. K and she said to bring the boys here after the police left. She's on her way here in a little bit"

She then managed a smile. "I have to love Leif, though."

"Why?" Mac was curious.

"He got his baseball bat. 'I may be small, but I would whoop his butt.' It was so sweet he wanted to protect me and Mikey like that."

"Typical Leif," Mac laughed a little. "His dad taught him well."

"Speaking of which, I better get hold of Brian," Montana offered.

"No need, _Mami," _Kira replied. "It's been taken care of already. He and _Papi _are on their way back as soon as possible."

"I don't see why your dad needed to come home."

Kira shrugged. "Me neither, but you know him. A twig snaps outside and _Papi_ freaks out."

She then gestured to a box of items and a pet carrier on the floor. "We also brought Squishy. Leif's idea."

"Well, I certainly hope you wouldn't leave the poor animal there after a break in," Montana responded. "At least let him out of the carrier."

Kira did, and the cat darted out with a vengeance, immediately sniffing around his new surroundings. She then set up the litter box and cat bed in the next room before giving Squishy food and water.

Meanwhile, Montana set up temporary quarters for Leif in Michael's room, still concerned about the break in, thanking God at the same time that Mariah hadn't been home and Kira had handled the situation so well.

_Meanwhile:_

"Why didn't you say something before?" Paul asked.

"We've had nut ball fans for years," Brian replied, "what difference would it have made? I had it under control."

"Right. Your wife is pregnant with twins; you should be damn lucky she was away for her job tonight. Keep in mind that not only was your nine year old son and your cat were in that house, but so were _my_ son and fourteen year old daughter. Fortunately for us, both Kira kept her wits about her and you had that alarm installed."

"I seriously doubt they would have taken anything."

"Are you even on this damn planet? You had some psycho trailing your ass for months, finally figuring out where you live, and then tried to break into your house when there were _kids_ in there? If that had been me, I would all but be in cardiac arrest right now."

"There's been other break ins in the neighboorhood, PL. There's no concrete evidence that it could be the whack job that's been sending the emails and showing up at events."

"No, but it seems pretty coinky-dink that they weren't at the show tonight and your house was broken into. For fuck's sake, at least call Mimi and see if she's okay."

"Fine, I should also check on Leif anyway. And your pocket's ringing," Brian said.

Paul nodded, answering his own call.

"_Papi."_

"Hey, Mikey. Does _Mami _know you're calling me?"

"Uh huh. Are you really going to come home?"

"Yeah, buddy, someone needs to come home with your Uncle Spanky and whack some sense in him."

"Good. I'm scared they'll break in here too."

"I don't think they're going to be that stupid, little man. Besides, we have an alarm too, not to mention _Mami_ can be pretty scary herself when she gets mad."

"Or Mac when she puts that green stuff on her face." Michael began to laugh.

"That may help. But don't worry, you guys should be fine until we get there tomorrow."

"Okay. We got the cat here too."

"What? _Oquela. _That fuzz face will have cat hair all over."

"Leif brought the lint thingy," Michael answered. "And Squishy likes you."

"Well, in light of the scare you guys had tonight, I guess a day or two of keeping the furball there won't kill anyone. Just make sure he doesn't get outside."

"We won't."

"Let me talk to your _mami_ for a few minutes," Paul said.

"Here she is," Michael complied.

Paul spoke to Montana for a few minutes, getting up to speed about what actually happened and once he'd been assured that the kids were indeed all right, felt a little better. He would certainly be relieved when they reached home in the morning.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"You're not going back there, are you?" Montana asked the next day.

"Not until at least the window is fixed," Mariah answered.

"And you get a very, _very _large and vicious dog," Paul added.

"Right, man; I spent good money on an alarm system and I'm going to get a dog that will tear the shit out of anything that moves with twins on the way." Brian shook his head.

"Besides, a dog might eat Squishy," Leif said, picking up the cat.

"He'd make a good doggie snack. Nice and plump," Paul teased.

"_Papi!" _Kira admonished him.

"I was joking, baby. You don't actually think I'd actually feed our fuzzy buddy here to a dog, would you?"

"Better not," Leif said, "or we'd have issues."

"By the way, did you scoop his box yet?" Brian asked.

"Yep, and he has food too," Leif nodded.

"I'm just glad you guys put that alarm in," Kira said. "I'd hate to think what would happen otherwise if it wasn't there."

"Yes, thank God. You can thank my husband over here for that stroke of genius," Mariah nodded.

"Did the police give you any idea of who may have broken into the house?" Montana wondered.

"There's a general idea, but they want to go through the house first to make sure," Mariah answered. "I don't care about damage; I'm just glad the kids got out all right."

"Makes two of us," Paul agreed. "And shorty here keeping her head helped a lot too."

"I didn't do anything a good sitter wouldn't do, _Papi_," Kira replied. "Cut it out."

"Kira should sit with us all the time," Leif grinned. "She's the best!"

Brian gave him a look. "Since when do _you_ endorse babysitters? Usually when your mother and I get one, you're having a fit. 'Do I have to have someone stay with me? I'm not a little kid!' We go through that all the time."

"Kira's different," Leif answered. "And I'm kind of glad she was there when the house got broken in. I think Mikey was too."

"Aha. You like Kira because she brings Mikey."

"That and he likes looking at Kira," Michael snickered.

Kira began to laugh.

"Shut up!" Leif playfully smacked his friend. "I do not!"

"Oh right. You're crushing on Nomi."

"You're really pushing it, Mikey."

"What about me?" Naomi asked, coming in to get a soda.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwww, girl!" Leif called.

"Ewwwwwwwww, boy with yellow hair!" she responded.

"Naomi!" Montana scolded.

"Think nothing of it, Mon; we go through this when they see each other," Paul said. "I don't see why they just don't go upstairs and make out already."

"Eww, _Papi! _Stop! You are so gross." Naomi made a face.

"_Papi, _don't tease her," Kira said.

"Why not? It's fun."

"Girls are weird anyway," Michael added.

"Hey, watch it, little man, or I'll let them grab you next time," Kira warned playfully.

"Except you and _Mami_." Michael caught himself.

"Nice save," Montana chuckled. "He's already learning from his father."

"How the hell did I get pulled into this?" Paul asked.

"PL's the king of saving himself," Brian joked. "Mike's got a good teacher."

"Like you never backtracked after shoving your foot in your mouth, Spanky," Paul countered.

"Let me count the ways," Mariah nodded.

"Hey, Mimi, no one asked anything from the El Prego section," Brian said.

"You got it whether you asked or not," Mariah quipped. "Anyway, we should really look into temporary hotel quarters until the window's fixed and they're done in the house. They've probably made a mess looking for…..whatever they're looking for."

"Nothing doing," Paul spoke up. "You're keeping your asses right here."

"Going to be kind of crowded, man," Brian reminded him.

"We can deal with that," Montana said. "No one is wasting money on hotels when there's room here. And it's only for a few days."

"How long does it take to put in a security window anyway?" Paul asked.

"And I can clean the mess up if there is any," Kira offered.

"Me too!" Naomi nodded eagerly.

"And me," Michael chimed in.

"Looks like you're outnumbered," Montana smiled. "Consider your temporary quarters already settled."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Good morning, sunshine," Montana grinned the next morning.

Paul grunted in response as dragged himself to the coffee pot.

"Well, thanks, I love you too. What has you so grumpy?"

"Between Mimi getting up fifty times to piss and Spanky snoring like a bear, let's just say it wasn't one of my better nights. How the hell does anyone sleep through all of that?"

"Paul, all someone has to do is _look _at you and you're awake," Montana pointed out.

"You didn't hear all that shit? Christ, woman, between you and Spanky, someone could drop an atom bomb in here and neither would have never known what hit you."

"Yes, but that's only been since the kids got older and I didn't have a baby monitor glued to my hip," she smiled.

The cat jumped on the counter to greet Paul, curious of what he was pouring.

"Jesus!" he cried, jumping back a little. "What the fuck?"

"Squishy, no!" Montana shooed the animal off the counter. "Bad kitty."

She then dug through a box. "He's probably hungry. I'm sure there's cat food in here somewhere."

"Tell Brian to get his ass up and feed his own pussy," Paul replied, drinking his coffee.

"For Pete's sake, it won't kill us to put down one bowl of food," Montana shook her head, opening a can.

"Fucking hell, how does a cat eat this stuff? It _stinks!"_

Montana put the bowl down in front of Squishy, who dug in immediately. "Maybe to us, but he seems to like it just fine."

"Anyway, what's for breakfast?"

"Eggs, hash browns, toast, bacon and sausage."

"Ahhh, now that's what I call breakfast. What's the occasion?"

"We have guests."

"Where? It's just Spanky, Mimi and their kid. I could have picked up something."

"Yes, but breakfast burritos from McDonald's hardly qualifies as a nutritious breakfast. Besides, we have an expectant mother who needs decent meals."

"Who's eating for _three," _Paul reminded her.

"This coming from a man who wolfed down no less than three plates of stroganoff last night and wonders why he's gaining weight."

"I'm getting fat?" He sounded disappointed.

Montana grinned, amused that even after all this time, he was _still _a little vain.

"Actually, you're filling out nicely," she reassured him before giving his middle a playful poke. "And I like your little pudge; it beats feeling ribs any day. Look at it this way, I still have baby weight from having Michael and Naomi, and they're almost eleven and nine years old."

"I beg to differ. You're still holding up pretty good for a _mami."_

She gave him a hug and poked him again. "Hmmm, I knew I kept you around for some reason."

Brian gave a loud yawn as he came in the room. "Greetings, fine people."

Paul made a face. "_Oquela, _look what the cat dragged in."

"Good morning to you too, PL. Holy hell, Mon, what did you do, make a buffet, or is this just for the old man?"

"Very fucking funny, Spanky. I don't eat _that_ damn much," Paul replied.

Montana chuckled. "It's for all of us. Where's Mariah and Leif?"

"Should be down shortly. Mimi's getting dressed and she ordered the kid to brush his teeth. Apparently she could see his breath down the hall."

"Sure that wasn't yours she saw?" Paul joked.

"Now who's being a smart ass? This coming from a dude whose pits I can smell in the next room when he hasn't showered for a whole day."

"I can vouch for that," Montana added.

"Stay out of this, woman," Paul laughed, "or no love for one year."

"Like that would ever happen with a horny toad like you," she responded with a giggle. "Breakfast is ready, gentlemen. Dig in at any time."

Mariah came in, followed by Leif and the other kids. "Looks like we're right on time," she smiled, eying breakfast.

"Yeah, I wanted to get mine while there was still food," Brian said. "You pregnant chicks are expensive to feed."

She gave him a look. "Jesus, Brian, couldn't you at least combed your hair before you came down here? It looks like a rat's nest."

"PL said to make ourselves at home," he replied, "so I did."

"Which explains the theory of him looking like something Squishy dragged in," Paul teased.

"Speaking of which, you could use a shave, fuzz face," Montana reminded him.

"What is this, Nag the Men Day?" Paul asked. _"Oquela."_

"I ain't ever getting married," Leif announced.

Brian patted his shoulder. "Smart boy."

"Me neither," Michael agreed, digging in his eggs.

"Good, because you and your sisters aren't dating until you're forty anyway," Paul said.

Mac gave him a look. "I beg your pardon?"

"I think your father is exaggerating," Montana reassured her.

"I can see it now," Brian chimed in. "Naomi coming in from a date, and there's _Papi _on the front porch, walker in one hand, shotgun in the other."

"Now who's exaggerating?" Paul raised an eyebrow.

"Now _that_ I can believe," Montana nodded. "You were about to slit the throat of that boy who took Mac to the homecoming dance because they got back ten minutes late."

"Wow, that's a common threat from a Latino _papi," _Brian answered. "Nice way to scare off your daughter's dates, old man."

"Really, _Papi, _that was embarrassing," Mac said.

"Midnight means _midnight, _not ten after twelve," Paul replied.

"Ewww, I'm not going out with no boys!" Naomi protested.

"Good _hija," _Paul grinned down at her. "Anyway, what's on tap for today?"

"Meet with the cops, for one," Brian said, "and then see about getting that damn window replaced ASAP before some fuck-o or three decide to loot the place."

"Not much chance of that happening," Mariah said. "The Bosches have been tying their Dobermans over there since the break in."

"I'm telling you, Spanky, you should look into a dog," Paul insisted.

"Just what I need, something else that eats, shits, and makes noise. I already have one furball whose box has to be scooped every day, two human shit factories on the way and one that's almost ten years old."

"Hey!" Leif spoke up. "I heard that!"

"Well, maybe this 'shit factory' will tear apart the next ass wipe who breaks in," Paul replied.

"Nothing was taken anyway, thanks to a good alarm system. I can always teach Squishy to be an attack cat."

"Now there's a scary prospect," Paul laughed.

"Oh man, I forgot to feed the cat!" Leif gasped.

"No worry, honey; I took care of him," Montana said.

"Hey, gee, thanks a lot, Mrs. L.," Leif smiled.

"_Mami, _can Leif and I go outside?" Michael asked. "We're done eating."

"Put on a jacket," Montana nodded, "it's chilly outside yet, and don't go anywhere without telling one of us first."

"You boys stay together," Mariah warned.

"We will, Mom," Leif sighed. "Gee."

Everyone else finished their meals once the boys went out. "I never knew getting my house broken into could be so rewarding," Brian grinned.

"You should get that more often," Paul smiled back. "I don't see your happy ass often enough."

Brian let out a loud belch. "Whoa, compliments to the chef."

"Thanks," Montana chuckled. "I think."

"Jesus, Brian," Mariah said, annoyed. "You're just taking this whole making yourself at home thing literally."

"Be thankful he didn't fart," Paul replied. "Yet."

"You mean like you did last night and blamed the dog?" Montana gave him her own look.

"That _was_ the dog," he responded. "Mine are much louder."

"Well, that's our cue to exit," Mac said, as she and the other girls stood up. "Feel free to continue that lovely conversation, though. _Papi, _I'm taking the car and we're going to the mall. I'll stop for gas on the way home."

"Good idea," he nodded. "That thing doesn't exactly run on fumes. And don't be going nuts with my credit card."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Mariah heard Leif and Michael howling with laughter in the next room as Leif had been reading from something she couldn't quite make out. Occasionally, she would hear Michael ask what a certain word was and Leif figure it out, but outside of that, Mariah figured it was some boyish thing and thought nothing more of it.

When they had gone upstairs to hang out in Leif's room, it hadn't taken long for Mariah to figure out what had been so amusing to the two of them.

Brian had been ticketed for parking in a handicapped space a few days before and been irritated about it; along with the $260 fine, he had been instructed to write an essay and turn it in to the courthouse by the following week.

Mariah now spotted the "essay" on the desk where the boys left it, presuming Brian had carelessly left it out in the open to begin with where Leif could easily spy it. Little hairs began to raise on the back of her neck as she began to read:

_Dear Judge (name omitted),_

_I wish I really knew what to say in six pages about handicapped parking. Yeah, I didn't see the wheelchair parking sign, it was rubbed off, you should work on getting that repainted before pinning other poor bastards like myself, The Brian Kendrick._

_I guess it's kind of a shitty thing to do, restricting those seriously impaired with disabilities from parking so much closer to the restaurant then us lazy 'normal-folk'… like they couldn't wheel their asses just THAT much further! Anyway, I'm trying to make a point here, I forgot. Why don't normal folks get close parking spaces too? Do you think we enjoy walking extra to do things?_

_I'm a grown man with a nine year old son and twin daughters on the way; I only have so much energy, Judge! Honestly, I think everyone should walk the same distance, but I could just be one of many Americans, who might just be lazier and less sincere then the rest. This probably isn't helping my case at all, but I mean, I paid the 260 dollar fine, what else do you want from me? My firstborn?_

_What would you do if a handicapped person parked in one of us 'normal-folks' parking spaces? Hmmm? Probably nothing! Am I right? I bet I am. I'd bet my firstborn but you already want that._

_As you can tell, I'm not your average Joe. I pay my taxes, but your handicapped parking paint jobs suck so much hairy ass, it's not even funny. Yes, I said hairy ass._

_So Judge, tell me, have you ever parked in a handicap space by accident? I bet your wife has. Or your son. Or your granddaughter. Did you make them write a fucking six-page essay? I'll bet you didn't. Jerk. I wouldn't make my own son or even my cat do this bullshit._

_You realize I still have five pages to go? I'll bet you'll read the first paragraph and get sick of me. Would you like me to do a dance? I can do a space-dance if it counts as part of the essay._

_Does that count? I hope the fuck so, cause I'm a busy man, Judge, I've got stuff to do. I'm a WWE Entertainer, I travel, I wrestle nearly every night, I made more money wearing a Speedo in my day then you'll ever make wearing your robe and swinging your little fucking… hammer thing. I'd like to hit you with that mallet, but, I don't want an assault charge as well. This one's already bullshit._

_Is your wife hot? Just a serious question, I don't think she is, cause if she was, you wouldn't be so bitter, making a grown man write an essay like some high-school dropout caught in an MIP scandal… oh yes, Judge… I went there._

_I have another question, do judges wear anything under those robes? You probably don't, so you can be like the Flasher, right? I bet you wear it at home in bed for role playing… you sick, sick man._

_Still got four and a half pages to go. I'm yawning as I type this, it's boring. If I slept with you, could I get out of this? I really will. I'm still a hot blond with a good body (at least the wife thinks so; I knocked her up twice anyway). I think it'd be your homosexual fantasy come true._

_I've got big friends, you know. Big, wrestling, steroid-taking friends. I could sic them on you, I just kind of don't like the idea of jail, I'd go in a tight-end and leave a wide-receiver. I kind of like my ass how it is._

_Is a jury going to read this? If so, I did not have sexual relations with this judge, guys, I just would, if it got me out of a fine and writing anymore of this boring ass essay._

_Have you ever been with a man, Judge? I bet I could rock your world. Nine inches. I bet you're a bottom. If I called you pig boy, would you get offended? Just a question. You'd kind of need to brush your teeth first. I bet you bite, and I don't want scabies._

_Am I done with this fucking essay yet? I'm supposed to be talking about handicapped people, but what is there to talk about? They have closer parking, those fucking bastards, why should I feel sorry?_

_Look! More space-dancing! Hammertime! Peanut butter, jelly time! Yeah!_

_Well, that passed about six lines. _

_Maybe if I keep typing one sentence at a time._

_Or better yet, one word!_

_Fuck._

_This._

_Essay._

_I'm sorry, that was completely inappropriate. And now I can stop acting like I care!_

_Well, I can't think of anymore to say. I'm sorry I parked in a holy motherfucking parking space. Paint it over so no one else has to suffer through this. I'd rather get stabbed forty times in the face with an ice pick then type another one of these._

_I hope you enjoyed reading! I hope you get those that stick up your ass taken out!_

_Xxx_

_That's **The** Brian Kendrick to you._

"**BRIAN!" **Mariah yelled.

"What?" he called back before coming where she was.

She held up the paper. "What the hell is this supposed to be?"

"Oh, thanks. I forgot to mail that. I showed it to Paul and he about pissed himself."

"I can see why. Surely you are not serious about sending this."

"Why not? I couldn't think of anything to say about handicapped parking so I ranted instead."

"And you're going to end up behind bars at this rate. Maybe I better learn to make file cake and inform Montana we should begin raising bail money early."

"Hey, PL liked it. What were you doing looking at it anyway?"

"You left it out and the boys found it. Evidently they were entertained too, which I wouldn't minded had it not been for the graphic content and language."

"Jesus, Mimi, it isn't like they were reading _Penthouse_. They're not exactly totally in the dark about sex and eight year olds drop the F bomb in school."

"Well, if your son or Michael starts dropping it, there's going to be issues." Mariah shot him a stern look. "Mon and I are trying to raise them to be decent boys, not hoodlums."

"I'll keep that in mind and make sure Leif doesn't turn into a killer. I can't guarantee anything about Mikey, though; given who _he_ has for a father."

"Don't be funny. You know what I mean."

"Where is my budding devil spawn anyway?"

"He and Michael are up in his room."

"Ahh, planning more mischief. That's my boy."

"So help me, Brian David, if that child picks up any of your silliness or I get any phone calls from school because he's imitated some of your hijinks, the next place you'll be sleeping will be Squishy's cat bed."

"Oh well," Brian grinned, "at least he's warm too. A little more fuzzy, but warm. On a serious note, let me check on the boys to see if they're all right. I'll even pay for dinner tonight to compensate if they're getting in trouble."

Mariah managed a smile. "Now _that_ I can deal with."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"I hope to God he didn't actually send that," Montana said when Mariah told her about the "essay."

"Knowing Brian, he probably _did," _Mariah answered. "I don't think I have seen anyone in my entire life throw such a shit fit about a parking ticket."

"But he didn't park just anywhere. It was a handicapped spot."

"Which, according to him, wasn't clearly marked. Who knows, Brian may have been drunk on his ass again. At least the boys got a laugh out of it."

"Oh my God, don't tell me Leif found that!"

"He did. He and Michael were laughing like a couple of hyenas and it didn't take me long to find out what was so funny."

Mariah then winced and let out a low groan.

"Mar? Are you okay?" Montana asked.

"Yeah. I think one of the girls just kicked. _Hard."_

"Oh wow, that's great!"

"I just hope I don't have any midnight dances like I did with Leif."

"I know what you mean. I went through kick, stomp and flip with Michael until three in the morning. At least Naomi didn't move around much."

"Yes, but now there's _two _of them at once to deal with this time."

"How is everything going anyway?"

"The doctor says everything is progressing nicely," Mariah replied. "He thinks I may have to be on bed rest the last couple of months though as a precaution."

"Well, being twins, it would make perfect sense," Montana agreed.

"You know, it puzzled me for awhile how I could have been having twins and then I went back into the family history. It turned out one of my great-aunts was a twin."

"Really?" Montana was intrigued.

"Yes."

"And here I thought the joke Paul made about your husband having some strong tadpoles was actually a fact."

"Maybe that _is_ true too." Mariah began to laugh. "Where did he go, by the way?"

"Dragging Brian to look at cribs, remember?"

"Right. I'd like to be a fly on the wall for this. It was a barrel of laughs when we were having Leif."

"Not as bad as he was yelling out with wonder what a breast pump was when he and Paul were looking around for things when we were preparing for Michael."

"Tell me you are not serious," Mariah said.

"I didn't tell you about that?" Montana raised her eyebrows.

"I don't think you did."

"Well, the two of them were in this baby store one day when we were getting things ready for Michael. Why Paul had dragged him along that day I don't particularly remember now, but Brian had come across this breast pump, picked it up, and _**yelled **_across the store, asking Paul what it was and what it did. Knowing Paul, he probably turned twenty shades of red and wanted the floor to open up and swallow him right then."

"Oh, God," Mariah groaned. "Of course, my husband has absolutely _no_ shame. I just hope he isn't doing anything to embarrass Paul today."

"Yes, let's hope there isn't any more incidents, but when those two get together, one never knows."

Mariah nodded. "That's what I'm afraid of."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Mom? We're back," Leif announced.

"Oh this should have been interesting," Montana said.

"Just what I was thinking," Mariah nodded, just as the guys came into the kitchen. "Leif, please tell me your dad did not embarrass the shit out of all of you."

"Ye of little faith, Mimi," Brian said, shooting her a look.

"For once, he _didn't," _Leif grinned. "Uncle Paul did most of the talking."

"Someone had to," Paul spoke up. "You'd think after one kid, genius here could pick out new baby furniture. Hell no; I still had to work with the sales guy, and I'm not the one having twins."

"Mikey and I got kind of bored, though," Leif continued. "Why did you make them drag us to the baby store anyway?"

"Quality time with your fathers," Montana replied, nodding toward Michael.

"If that's quality time with _Papi, _I think I'll pass next time," Michael turned up his nose.

"Thanks a lot, Mikey; I'll remember that when your wife drags you there when you're having your own kids," Paul said.

"And it's good to have you involved with the twins coming and when you have kids someday," Mariah explained to Leif.

"I'm not having any." Leif shook his head.

"Smart kid," Brian grinned.

"Brian, you're not helping here," Mariah said.

"Or am I?" He looked in the cupboards and refrigerator. "There's nothing to eat."

"I just went to the store yesterday," Mariah protested. "Good God, I can't help you two eat like pigs."

"Dad, I found Oreos," Leif announced.

"And Doritos," Michael added.

"Ahh, there is a God," Brian smiled, going to light a cigarette.

Mariah gave him a dirty look. "Outside with that."

"What? They're not even born yet."

Leif crossed his arms and glared. "Dad."

"Jesus, all right; I didn't think one smoke would be a federal case. Just don't hog all the Oreos while I'm out there, and keep the Doritos very, very far away from PL."

"Very funny, Spanky," Paul replied.

"Why do you all send him out to smoke?" Michael wondered, taking a few Doritos.

"Because it stinks and we have an expecting _mami _in the house," Montana explained. "Smoke isn't good for babies."

"And women enjoy making our lives hell," Paul added, only to be rewarded with a smack on the head from Montana. "What?"

"You're not helping here, Paul Michael," she answered.

"Kid's got to learn early," he grinned. "You have any soda around here, Mimi?"

"Check the bottom shelf of the fridge if Brian hadn't guzzled it all first."

"Anyway," Montana spoke up, "how did you all make out with the new furniture?"

"Picking out one crib with you for Mikey and then Naomi was enough," Paul said with a groan, "but _two_ of them with Spanky? Talk about hell on earth. I'd been better off going with Mimi. At least she'd have a clue on what she was doing."

"I'm guessing you got something anyway," Mariah smiled.

"They sure did, Mom," Leif nodded. "You should have seen the stuff Uncle Paul found to go with it. And it's all going to be easy to put together!"

"_Everything_ has to be put together?" Mariah asked.

"Don't worry, Mom; I'll be around in case they mess it up," Leif reassured her.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Leif," Paul said.

"Actually, I meant more along the lines of Dad," Leif clarified. "You know how he never reads the directions."

"Oh yeah," Michael agreed. "Kind of like when he tried to put your bike together and had parts left over."

"In any case," Mariah cut in, "it may not be a bad idea to have you three around when it's time to put that stuff together for the nursery."

"I agree," Montana smiled. "Plus it will give you all more quality time together."

"At least that will beat going to some dumb baby store," Michael said.

"Yeah. Hey, let's see if we can get started after Dad finishes his stinky cigarette!" Leif suggested.

"How about waiting until at least after dinner?" Mariah asked. "Which reminds me, don't be loading up on that junk. I have macaroni and cheese with bacon in the oven."

"That's even better yet!" Leif gave her a huge grin.

"Just don't make it a project of Leif here putting everything together while you and Brian 'supervise' and goof off," Montana warned Paul.

"Nah, we can have _Papi_ read the directions," Michael offered.

"_You_ can read the directions, boy," Paul said. "Leif and I can build and make sure his dad doesn't screw something up in the meantime."

"Whatever the case, don't be pimping this off on the kids," Montana reminded him.

"Not exactly what I had in mind," Paul replied. "This is baby furniture, after all. As long as at least one of us has an eye on Spanky, nothing should go wrong."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Brian, hand me a Phillips' screw," Paul instructed as Michael read off some directions to the crib they were all putting together.

Brian stared blankly at the pile of screws. "Which ones are those?"

Leif rolled his eyes and picked one up. "These, Dad. Geez." He handed it to Paul.

"Do you even remember doing _anything_ like this before the boy here came along?" Paul wondered.

"No, everything of Leif's came already put together."

"We should have known," Leif shook his head.

"Just go over there with Mikey and help him hand us stuff," Brian replied.

"Hey guys?" Mariah called up the stairs.

"No disasters yet, Mimi," Paul called back down.

"Well, good, but I wanted to let you know I'm going out for a bit to pick up a few things for dinner. If you need anything, Montana's still here and Mac just showed up."

"Okay, Mom," Leif said. "Be careful. You're getting pretty big now."

"I think I know that, smarty pants," she laughed. "Just don't give any of these girls a hard time. That goes for the rest of you too."

"Should she be going out by herself like that?" Leif asked.

"Your mom should be fine, buddy," Paul replied. "She's not due for another three months yet."

"Uncle Spanky," Michael pointed out. "That isn't where that goes."

"Not quite, Dad," Leif added. "That's the leg."

"Maybe we should just let your_ papi _over there put this shit together," Brian said half jokingly. "He has more experience, after all."

"Smart ass." Paul raised an eyebrow. "But maybe me putting it together might not be such a bad idea after all. Mikey, give me those directions."

_Meanwhile:_

"Where's the guys?" Mac asked.

"They're upstairs putting furniture together for the twins' nursery," Montana answered. "I agreed to keep an eye on things while Mariah did a couple of errands and picked up things for dinner."

"Oh boy, this should be fun," Mac laughed.

"Don't worry, your dad, Leif and Michael are up there to prevent any potential disasters."

"I don't know what Mikey can do, but the rest sounds reassuring. What did they end up getting anyway?"

"Two cribs and a whole room of furniture. I'm presuming they're working on the cribs now."

"Wow. Could you imagine if you and _Papi_ had twins?"

"No thanks; having Michael and then Naomi was enough."

"Yeah, good point. One of Mikey is enough to drive even the sanest person crazy."

"Honey, I wish you and your brother would get along better. He's only ten."

"He's an annoying little brat, worse when Leif is around. At least Naomi stays out of my stuff and minds her business."

"Michael's at the age when boys are getting curious, Mac. He'll grow out of it."

"I sure hope so. He's driving me nuts."

Leif and Michael bounced downstairs, making a bee line toward the refrigerator for sodas, directing an "Ewww, GIRL!" comment toward Mac's way.

"See what I mean?" Mac rolled her eyes. "Annoying little shits."

"Oh, honey, they're just teasing. Boys that age usually do."

They were interrupted by a loud thud coming from upstairs.

"Uh oh," Leif said.

"You thinking what I am?" Michael asked.

"Yep. We better go back up there and check it out. Something tells me it involves Dad."

Paul then came down with a look of disgust on his face. _"Oquela."_

"Left Dad alone, didn't you?" Leif asked.

"Jesus, I can't even leave for two minutes to take a shit without him screwing up something," Paul grunted. "I told Spanky not to touch anything."

"Yeah, like he would start listening now," Montana shook her head, trying not to laugh.

"What happened up there?" Mac wondered.

"I told dumb ass not to lean against anything, that we weren't finished yet. What does he do? Lean against one of the cribs. Now I have to put the whole fucking thing back together."

"Just make _him_ do it," Mac suggested.

"Oh brother," Leif rolled his eyes. "We'll be up there all night in that case."

"Well, come on boys," Paul said. "We better head back up there before Spanky decides to sabotage something else."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

It was now the holiday season and Mariah was getting close to her due date. She was now on bed rest, which annoyed her, since she loved doing her Christmas baking, wrapping gifts, and decorating the house, things she had done with Leif as he grew up.

Mariah was even planning to take him ice skating on Christmas Eve with Michael and Kira, something she and Montana had done every year since the boys were preschoolers and Kira in elementary school.

Naomi and Mac usually opted out of the ice skating, preferring to go to New Mexico with their father to visit their grandmother and partake in the Mexican Christmas Eve tradition of _Noche Buena_. An essentially family day, it would begin with the last _posada_ and end with dinner, with the adults exchanging presents afterward. The _Misa de Gallo _mass was at midnight**. **

Now Mariah figured, along with her nagging backache, she would have the additional aggravation of the thought of Brian in charge of the whole Christmas Eve thing with Leif, not to mention he'd ordered five dozen cookies from the bakery instead of the effort of attempting to make them himself.

At least Mariah and Leif had gotten the decorations and tree up before she was ordered to bed rest. Lord knows what mess it would have been otherwise.

_Well, maybe the cookie part wasn't so bad_, she thought. Knowing Brian, he'd probably burn the house down trying to make them anyway.

Leif came upstairs bringing her a tray, grinning. "Here's dinner, Mom."

"Don't tell me you let your dad into the kitchen _alone_," Mariah replied.

"No, he went to Boston Market. That's kind of hard to screw up. I sneaked you a few cookies, though."

"Thanks, sweetheart," Mariah said gratefully. "Exactly what is he doing down there?"

"Getting stuff together for skating. Wonder if he'll fall on his butt again this year? That was really funny, especially when he said he got a big bruise there."

"Leif, really."

"I can't figure out how Dad can dance around in a ring like a moron and beat people up, yet he can't stand on a pair of ice skates."

"Give him credit for trying," Mariah answered. "He may surprise you kids this year, who knows?"

"Yeah. Anyway, we're waiting for Gran to get here to stay with you. Dad's kind of paranoid leaving you by yourself."

"Not that I can do much anyway," Mariah shrugged. "I'll be pretty boring company."

"Nah, I'm sure Gran will find something for you guys to do," Leif nodded. "She was pretty good when I had chicken pox, remember?"

"Sure, but there's quite a difference between chicken pox and having twins."

"Boy do I know it!" Leif said. "Shouldn't you have had them by now?"

"It's getting close to that time. Believe me, if I were you, I'd enjoy these last days of peace and quiet we will all have for awhile."

_Meanwhile:_

"Come on, you two," Montana called upstairs. "We have to meet Brian in half an hour."

"Mariah's not coming with us?" Kira asked, coming down with skates slung over her shouder. "We always go together every year."

"She's on bed rest with the twins, remember?"

"Oh right, silly me. Of course, it will be more fun seeing Uncle Spanky make a doofus of himself."

"Kira, that wasn't funny. That poor man's behind was bruised for a _week."_

"Yeah, you're right, _Mami. _It could have been worse, like when _Papi _messed up his ankle the one year he went with us when I was six and Naomi was a baby. That had to hurt."

"A clean break would have hurt less," Montana nodded. "Notice that was the last time he went with us. Of course, your sisters have no interest in ice skating either, hence them going with your father to _Abuelita's_ every year thereafter."

"Well, at least they have fun too," Kira smiled.

"By the way, where's your brother?"

"In the bathroom. Mikey said he wanted 'to do his business' before we left."

"Good for him."

"Are we going to the rink we went to last year?"

Montana shook her head. "It's too warm to maintain the ice. We're going to that indoor rink."

"God, I hope that place isn't crowded with a bunch of creepy boys." Kira turned up her nose.

"I think it will be mostly families tonight, sweetie."

"Good, maybe Mikey will find a little girlfriend."

"Eww, Kira, stop!" Michael said, coming downstairs. "I heard that and you're gross!"

Montana laughed. "So much for my little man of the house," she teased as the phone rang.

She spoke for a few minutes as Kira and Michael teased and shoved each other, laughing.

"All right, you two monkeys," Montana said, hanging up. "That was Brian and he's on his way over. Here we go for a night of skating and fun."

"And Uncle Spanky landing on his butt again," Michael said, laughing. "This is going to be so cool."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Montana, Kira, and the boys had been so engrossed in having a great time at the skating rink that she almost hadn't heard her phone beep with a text from Paul letting her know that he and Mac were fine, _Noche Buena_ was progressing nicely, and his _mami_ was in good spirits.

They had laughed at Michael showing off for a group of little girls as Leif rolled his eyes and shook his head, Montana commenting how much her son was already taking after his dad.

"Yep, he's _Papi's_ all right," Kira giggled in agreement as Michael did a perfect axel.

There were no mishaps on Brian's part this year; he hadn't even shown any indication of even "wiping out," as Leif laughingly called it. As a matter of fact, he was looking almost professional in contrast to being last year's klutz.

Kira wondered if he had been taking lessons.

"If he has," Leif shrugged, "he didn't say anything to me or Mom about it."

"Speaking of Mariah," Kira turned to Montana, "shouldn't we check and see how she is?"

"Brian's mother is there," Montana reassured her. "If something was wrong, she would get in contact with one of us. As they say, no news is good news. And so far, the only thing I have gotten is a text from your dad saying all was well at your grandmother's."

"Wow, you mean _Papi_ hasn't decked any drunks yet?" Kira asked, teasing, recalling the year when she was ten and Paul had been hauled off for punching out a drunk that had been hitting on Montana.

"It's been a good night so far," Montana answered. "Don't jinx it."

They then heard a buzz coming from the pile of coats. Before Montana had a chance to move, Leif investigated the source of the noise, pulling out his father's phone.

"Hey, Dad!" he called. "Yo, skating champ, your phone's ringing!" Leif held it up.

Brian came over. "Who is it?"

Leif looked at the screen. "Home. I'm guessing at this point, it's Gran."

"Shit. Something tells me I better take this. More than likely it could be about your mother."

He went off to a quieter area of the rink for a few moments, where the others could see him nodding from time to time. After about five minutes, Brian hung up and headed back over to the group.

"We're going to have to take off," he announced as Montana noticed he was trying to stay calm.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Ma's at the hospital," Brian sighed. "Mimi's in labor."

Montana nodded hastily. "Go ahead. I can take the kids home and Leif can stay with us tonight. I'm sure Kira can look after the boys and I will meet you at the hospital."

_Early the following morning:_

It wasn't how anyone had planned to spend Christmas.

At home, Kira had slept in her own room while the boys had shared Michael's room for the night.

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Montana had paced a little, texted Paul and Mac to update them and read outdated magazines as Brian snored on one of the sofas in the waiting room. Mariah had been whisked off for a C-section and if it had been any indication what Brian had gone through with Montana having Michael and nearly turning green when Mariah had Leif, a C-section with twins would have surely freaked him out.

At 5:03AM Christmas morning, Briana Montana and her twin sister, Barbara Anne (who would be called Bobbie to avoid confusion with her grandmother) arrived in the world with no complications.

Montana poked the snoring father awake once the doctor had arrived to announce the girls' births, Brian nearly jumping out of his skin. _"Huh?"_

"Wow, don't be so enthused about the arrival of your daughters," Montana laughed.

"They're here _already?"_

"Already? We've been here with Mariah practically all night. It's five thirty."

"Jesus Christ, that long? Where's Leif?"

"At my place with Kira and Michael, most likely still asleep."

Brian yawned. "Yeah, he figured out the no such thing as Santa a couple of years ago. May as well let him sleep until a decent hour before I spring on him that he got two baby sisters for Christmas."

"I think he may have figured out as much last night," Montana grinned.

"At least Mimi is doing all right. Let's go get something greasy for breakfast. I need to get some cigars anyway."

Montana made a face. "Ugh. How about we just go home and I will make everyone something? Paul should be home this afternoon and I wouldn't be surprised if _he_ brings the cigars."

"Christ, he's not bringing that Mexican shit, is he?"

"I doubt it," she laughed. "Knowing him, he will probably go all out just like he did when I had Michael. That and it's Christmas. By the way, _Feliz Navidad."_

"Yeah," Brian yawned again. "Same to you."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"Um….who's who?" Michael asked, staring into the bassinets a few days later.

"Look at the bracelets," Kira replied. "Mac came up with the idea for them to have little gold ID bracelets to tell them apart. That and Bobbie has a heart shaped birthmark on her butt."

"I'm not looking at their butts," Michael frowned.

"May as well get used to it," Mac said, picking up one of the babies. "We get to watch them on New Year's when everyone goes out."

"I know, and it's going to be awesome," Kira nodded.

"Yeah, it will be fun to play with them," Naomi agreed.

"Maybe to _you two, _but as cute as they are, my own plans are shot in the ass," Mac snorted.

"It isn't like the folks go out all the time," Leif pointed out. "Dad's not off that often and it beats him sitting around smoking, farting and complaining."

"Your _mami_ won't let him smoke now in the house anyway," Michael reminded him. "Not with the babies around."

"Yeah, and he's having a fit. And Mom could use a night out after carrying these two around in her forever."

"So true!" Kira agreed. "I couldn't even imagine being pregnant with twins. Talk about uncomfortable."

Leif then made a face and sniffed. "Squishy!" he exclaimed toward the cat. "Did you have to drop one now? That's nasty."

"Um, Leif?" Mac spoke up. "That wasn't the cat. Briana just delivered a present in her diaper."

"Ewww! I'm not changing it!" he protested.

"Me neither," Michael added.

"Oh no, you two little monsters, if we're going to watch these babies on New Year's, you're going to change diapers," Mac said sternly.

"But I don't know how," Leif replied as Naomi began to giggle.

"Not funny, Nomi," Michael shot his little sister a look.

"No time like the present to learn," Kira nodded.

"Oh no, Mikey," Leif groaned. "We get to change our first smelly diaper."

"Go get their changing pad and stuff," Mac instructed.

"This is going to be interesting to see," Naomi giggled again. "Boys changing baby diapers."

"Let's say it will be a good learning experience for their futures," Mac smiled at her before the boys came back with the changing supplies.

Kira grabbed a wastebasket from the kitchen and set it down nearby. Mac laid Briana down on the changing pad and began to instruct Leif step by step on changing his baby sister.

He and Michael held their breath as Leif reached out and pulled open the tabs before opening up the diaper.

"GROSSSSSSSSS!!!" Michael yelled. "I'm going to be sick."

"This is nasty," Leif added, coughing.

"Oh come on, it's just a diaper," Naomi reassured them.

"Easy for you to say," Leif replied. "You're not the one changing it."

"All right you two, man up," Kira said, directing them back to the task at hand. "We have to clean Briana up real good or she'll get diaper rash."

Leif sighed as he grabbed some baby wipes from Michael and cleaned Briana up. Mac handed him a clean diaper as Michael gingerly put the wipes and dirty diaper into the wastebasket He bent over to tie up the bag as Leif diapered Briana under Mac and Kira's supervision.

"There," Mac smiled, picking up Briana and cuddling her. "You guys survived. That wasn't so bad."

"Thank God that's over," Leif wrinkled his nose. "Now let's hope Bobbie doesn't do it."

"At least for awhile," Michael answered.

"Again, you both better get used to it," Mac said. "You'll be doing this a lot someday."

"We're back," Brian called as he came into the house with Mariah, Paul and Montana. "Is the house in one piece?"

"You just missed it, Uncle Spanky," Naomi grinned widely. "Leif and Mikey just changed a diaper!"

"Shit and to think I didn't have any video of the grand event," Paul joked.

"It was Briana," Leif answered, making another face. "And she smelled bad."

"Get used to it, son," Brian said. "They usually do for awhile at that age."

"Mac forced us into slave labor," Michael added. "This is what happens when we're outnumbered by _girls."_

"Tell me all about it, buddy," Paul replied, nodding. "Just another example that women are taking over the world."

"And don't you forget it," Montana quipped. "Now go get the rest of the groceries."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"Do you guys like, get off on torturing me like this?" Mac asked, annoyed.

"Mackenzie, how many years have we been doing the New Year's picture?" Montana replied. "Now is not the time to complain."

"Yeah, just what I always wanted to do, spend New Year's Eve posing for a picture with a bunch of little kids. Isn't it enough I have to baby sit tonight with them?"

"They're for the grandparents. It isn't our fault you kids grow so fast," Montana pointed out.

"And who are you calling a little kid?" Kira countered. "I'm almost fifteen!"

"It isn't my idea of fun either," Leif added. "I have to wear this goofy outfit Gram got me for Christmas _and_ hold these two babies."

"That 'goofy outfit' came from Nordstrom's and your grandmother paid good money for it," Mariah said. "You'll wear it and like it."

"And it's cute," Naomi added.

"Boys' stuff isn't supposed to be 'cute', Nomi," Michael rolled his eyes.

"Come on, kiddos, settle down so we can finish this," Paul said. "I got it about ready so the flash will go off at the right time."

"You sure no heads will be cut off?" Brian asked.

"You want to come over here and try to set it up, smart ass?"

"Mom, Bobbie smells like poop," Leif announced.

Mariah picked up Bobbie and glanced over at Brian. "Your turn."

"Jesus tap dancing Christ," Brian groaned. "You couldn't hold it for two more minutes, kid?"

"She's a baby," Naomi said. "She couldn't help she had to go to the bathroom and can't say anything yet."

"Looks like you're in deep shit, Spanky," Paul joked.

"Oh, you're just the comedian today, PL. Here, you can change her if you think it's so funny."

"No," Mariah spoke up. "Bobbie is _your_ daughter. Go change her."

"Fucking hell," he groaned again before taking Bobbie to clean her up.

Paul laughed a little as he continued to adjust the camera, Montana shooting him a look.

"Keep it up and you're changing the next one," she warned him.

He cleared his throat, making the effort to keep a straight face, particularly when Brian had come back into the room with a freshly changed Bobbie several minutes later.

"Are we about ready, _Papi?" _Kira asked while Mariah arranged the twins on Leif's lap again.

"We are," Paul grinned. "All right, places, people. The flash is set!"

He jumped in with the rest of the group, everyone hurriedly posing only seconds before the flash went off. The annual New Year photo was finally done, but no one had spotted what Paul and Brian had done until the photo was taken.

_Later:_

"Oh my God, I cannot believe you two!" Mariah exclaimed, examing the picture.

"What? You said make it more exciting and fun this year," Brian said. "Is there no satisfying you women?"

"We specified a _Happy_ New Year theme," Montana clarified. "Not _hysterical."_

"What's wrong?" Mac wondered.

"A couple of certain men clowning around. I'd expect something like this from one of the kids, but two grown men? My God." Montana shook her head in disbelief.

Leif poked his head in, wondering what the fuss was about before spying his father making a face and putting up "rawkhands.". Paul had expressed a goofy grin and crossed his eyes, putting "rabbit ears" behind Brian's head.

"Way to go, Dad!" He gave Brian a high five.

"Why is _Papi _cross eyed?" Michael asked before starting to laugh.

"Because he thought he was being funny."

"I was," Paul said. "The kids laughed."

"We're taking this again," Mariah announced to a room full of groans. "This time, the fathers are going to be separated."

"And _I'm _adjusting the camera," Montana added. "Come on, this is going to the parents; can't you two be serious for five minutes? There will be plenty of time to be stupid tonight."

"Can we keep the original?" Leif asked. "Then we can show what doofuses our dads are."

"I think most have figured that out already," Mariah replied, "but hey, why not keep some evidence in any event?"

"Guess this means no New Year's nooky tonight either," Brian said.

"You also forgot there won't be any of that for the next five weeks either," Mariah pointed out. "Now you two get over there and try to show us an effort to at least look normal."

"Like that will ever happen," Mac laughed. "I don't think either of those guys know the meaning of the word."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**Mac: Age 22  
Kira: Age 19  
Michael: Age 15  
Naomi: Age 13**

**Leif: Age 14**

**Briana and Bobbie: Age 5**

It was a big year; Mac had graduated from college with an engineering degree that summer, while Kira had begun her junior year as a major in sports education with a minor in theater the following fall.

Michael was now in tenth grade, making decent grades and on the wrestling and basketball teams. He was shy, but had plenty of friends, even if he still hung out mostly with Leif. He no longer responded to Mikey; he preferred now to be addressed as Mike, or when the occasion was appropriate, asked to be called Michael.

Girls didn't fail to notice the dark, tall boy with the green eyes; Montana always knew Michael would be a charmer like his father from the time he was a baby. Still, much to the bemusement of his friends save Leif, Mike seemed drawn to the types of girls not unlike his own mother. After all, he had grown up with the mentality his _papi _had instilled in him, "Do you want to sleep with a pillow or a pole?"

Not that he'd slept with anyone; for one, he wasn't allowed to date alone yet, and second, both he and his latest girlfriend, Mia, were both virgins. Mia was a cute, brunette girl with blue eyes that was a little chubby, not the type the rest of the boys at school would have chosen to date, but Michael was drawn to her and both his parents and sisters approved of her.

Mia and Naomi had even become fast friends despite Naomi being only in eighth grade and Paul often pointed out to his son, "Mia kind of reminds me of your _mami. _If I was about thirty years younger and didn't have _her….."_

"Jeez, Pops," Michael would sigh at the reference. "You got your own woman. Leave mine alone."

"Yeah, _Papi," _Kira would laugh, giving him a playful smack. "Dirty old man."

"What's so dirty about complimenting one's own son on his good taste?"

Naomi would just smile and nod at him, pleased her dad thought so well of her friend and that someone so good looking as her brother, who could have anyone, would pick someone so nice as Mia.

Naomi was struggling with her own issues. At thirteen, most of them were normal, but she always saw herself as different from the time she was a child. While her sisters and Michael had their father's coloring and features (with the exception of Michael having their mother's eyes), Naomi was not only fair skinned as Montana, but also had her mother's tendency to battle her weight.

As a result, Naomi always felt unattractive and insecure, no matter how much her dad and Michael had tried to build her up. She couldn't help but smile, though, at the time both her brother and Leif had gotten in trouble at school when a boy had teased Naomi.

The two of them had taken the liberty to let the offender know in a not so nice way that that kind of thing was not tolerated. Leif was short, but he was a scrapper, and he'd taken the boy down with little trouble. He and Michael had gotten suspended for a week for their trouble, but both felt it had been worth it. Besides, Michael had long suspected his best friend was developing a crush on his baby sister, though Leif had denied it.

"Well, you aren't hanging around here to see me all the time, bro," Michael would laugh. "And we know damn well Kira isn't your type and Mac won't give any dude that isn't over six feet tall, doesn't own a BMW and wasn't in a fraternity the time of day."

"Yeah, what a bony ass, shallow bitch," Leif would agree. "Girl needs a few cheeseburgers. Nothing like Mia and Nomi, that's for sure. Even your mom, for that matter."

"Dude! Gross! Could you please leave my mother out of this? It's enough to know she and Pops still….you know….." Michael gestured his hands.

"Screw?" Leif grinned. "Yeah, so do my folks. Only Dad's a lot louder about it."

"That's a little more than I needed to know, Leif. Jesus."

"So you and Mia done it yet?"

"Do what?"

"God, Mike, are you that much of a dumb ass? _IT."_

"If you mean sex, no. Pops won't even let us go out unless it's a group or chaperoned until I'm sixteen, much less us doing _that_. Not that it's your business anyway."

"Yeah, same here, not that chicks are lining up to go out with me to begin with. No one goes for short guys."

"Don't underestimate yourself, bro. You're a nice-looking dude."

"Sure, but you have better luck. Guess I'll be stuck either being pestered by The Pesky Twins to play Barbies or watching old videos with Dad again for the fall dance. You taking Mia?"

"Yep, since it's a school function, Pops made an exception and is driving us. You know, you could ask Nomi."

"Oh yeah, take a junior high chick, as if my image doesn't suck enough, Mike."

"There's not much difference between eighth and ninth grade, dude. Damn. Besides, it isn't like we're on to you checking her out anyway, plus I think she likes you too."

"I don't think a girl calling someone Short Pants likes them," Leif shook his head.

"Nomi's covering it up; women do shit like that. Come on, will it kill you to ask her?"

"Probably."

"Chicken shit." Michael began to cluck and do a chicken dance.

"Oh, you're real funny, London."

"Five bucks says you won't have the balls to do it."

"Make it ten and you're on," Leif replied.

"This is going to be fun," Michael laughed, convinced his awkward friend wouldn't have the nerve.

_Later that evening:_

"_Mami!" _Naomi said, excited.

Montana looked up from her paper, bemused that her youngest child was in a mood that wasn't gloomy for a change. She and Paul often worried about Naomi; the girl always seemed so withdrawn and beating herself down, no matter how they and even Michael encouraged her. Naomi was such a bright girl, a talented artist and writer, yet she always seemed to compare herself to Mac and Kira, who had grown into beautiful young women with their share of boyfriends, and always felt she'd come up on the short end.

But now, she was so different, and they were eager to find out why.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Montana finally asked.

"You'll never, never, never, never, never, believe it!"

"Well, we won't if you won't tell us, _hija," _Paul said, laughing.

Michael too was interested, turning away from the TV. "Yeah, Sis, what's going on?"

Naomi grinned over at him. "Leif asked me to the fall dance!"

Paul looked at her, bemused. "It's _Leif _now? What happened to 'Short Pants'?"

"_Papi, _really, that's such a baby thing." Naomi rolled her eyes. "But yes, he asked me. He could have asked any high school girl, but he chose me!"

"Well, I hope you said yes," Montana smiled at her daughter.

"I did!" Naomi nodded eagerly, and then went over to Michael, patting his shoulder. "It's okay, Mike; I know about the bet. You owe him ten dollars."

"Jesus, that evil little guy has the biggest mouth," Michael sighed.

"Like father, like son," Paul agreed.

"I got to call Mia!" Naomi announced happily.

"Oh God," Michael groaned. "What did I get myself into?"

Montana chuckled. "May as well get used to it now, darling."

"That reminds me, I have to call Brian," Paul spoke up. "I wonder if he knows about this, especially the bet thing. He'll love it."

"Thanks a lot, Pops; I'm glad you're getting a kick out of this." Michael shook his head.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"Why do I bother with women again?" Michael asked the day after he had gone to the dance with Mia, Naomi and Leif.

"Because they have this theory that we need them more than they need us," Paul replied. "I think in some cases, they could be right. So I'm guessing last night was quite an experience?"

"More like the event from hell. If Nomi and Mia weren't spending half the time giggling in the bathroom, I had to look at Leif making googly eyes at my baby sister. Jesus."

"Sounds like someone's in love."

"Wow, you just now figured that out? Leif's been all moony for Nomi since they we were all little kids. He's just now starting to be goofy about it."

"Mmmm hmm. Like you're never goofy around Mia."

"Did you ever act like this around Moms?"

"All the time. I still do when you kids aren't looking."

"You still do what when the kids aren't looking?" Montana asked, walking in the room.

Paul playfully smacked her ass lightly. "Be 'all goofy' about you, as they put it these days. Mike's complaining about Leif making eyes at Naomi at the dance last night."

"Oh, that's so sweet," Montana said, smiling.

"You're not helping here, Moms," Michael shook his head.

"What's the matter? I thought you all had a wonderful time. It took forever for your sister to go to sleep last night after you two came home."

"I think Mia should have been hers and Leif's date instead of mine," Michael sighed.

Montana gave her son a hug; he was almost as tall as his father now. "Welcome to the world when we women get together, sweetheart. Besides, Mia just called about twenty minutes ago wanting to know if you want to go to the movies this afternoon."

Michael brightened. "She did?"

"Yes. Just the two of you."

"All right! Let me call her back. Leif probably doesn't have his lazy ass out of bed yet anyway, so what better than to spend some quality time with my girl."

"He probably isn't up yet since the old man is away this weekend," Paul nodded. "By the way, is Naomi awake?"

Michael rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah. She and Kira are up there running their mouths about something. At least they weren't hogging the bathroom."

He then paused before asking, "Why do girls go to the bathroom in pairs anyway?"

"One of life's greatest mysteries, _hijo_," Paul answered.

"Oh for pity's sake," Montana laughed. "it's not brain surgery. We don't just go to the restroom to use the toilet--makeup needs touching up or bra straps are slipping or hose are riding up or down or whatnot. Then we may be self-conscious about having the men at the table watch our asses as we walk away, it's nice to have a partner, and also take into consideration we may have to pee while we're in there. We're not like you guys who can just whip it out and go while staring at each other's equipment."

"Hey, it's _Brian_ who does that shit!" Paul spoke up. "I have zero interest in looking at other guys' dicks. _Oquela."_

"No, Pops just checks out girls' boobs," Michael snickered.

"Watch it, boy. I've seen you doing it too when you aren't checking out asses with Leif and Brian."

"Some things don't change when you get older, Mike," Montana laughed again. "Breakfast will be ready in a few."

_Meanwhile:_

"So you had a good time, huh?" Kira asked.

Naomi nodded eagerly. "Yeah….imagine me with a high school kid and Leif at that!"

"Don't get too excited; he's only a freshman," Kira reminded her.

Naomi gave her a smug look. "Who happened to give me a kiss."

"Wow, he moved fast, didn't he? It didn't seem long ago when you were going 'Ewwww!' at each other."

"Well, that was before Leif grew up and got cute," Naomi giggled. "But he did something else too."

Kira gave her a look. "What?"

"Promise you'll say nothing to _Mami _and _Papi?"_

"I'm sure they won't be upset about if you got another kiss, Naomi."

"No, it wasn't just that." Naomi then lowered her voice. "Leif felt my boobs."

Kira managed to keep calm. "Um….what?"

Naomi nodded, grinning. "Uh huh."

"I hope that was all that was felt," Kira said with a warning tone in her voice. "Remember what _Papi _told you and Mike about sex?"

"Of course. You can't have a baby from getting your boobs felt over a dress, silly."

"No, but just make sure it doesn't go past feeling unless you two use something. To be honest, thirteen is way too young to be doing sex stuff anyway."

"Gee, you sound like _Mami_ now. Did you ever let a boy touch you?"

Kira felt herself blushing. "Um…..yes. But I was sixteen." She didn't elaborate it had been the first time she had slept with someone and it had been a college boy who dumped her a week later.

"Well then, nothing happened to you," Naomi continued.

"No, but I'm saying don't rush into anything, Nom. You're a really smart girl, so don't mess your life up over a guy. Got it?"

"Of course not. I'm not 'doing it' till I get married," Naomi replied. "But feeling around is okay, right?"

"As long as it stops there," Kira said. "Still, just be careful as some guys can go nuts with this kind of thing."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"Leif! Leif!" the two voices cried, poking at him, waking him up from a good dream about him and Naomi when they were older.

He grunted, brushing them off and putting the covers over his head.

"Leif," Briana poked at him.

"Do you two ever give up? WHAT?"

"Get up. It's morning."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious."

"Mama has breakfast," Bobbie announced.

"So go get some and leave me alone," Leif snorted. "I got in late last night."

"Daddy always comes in late and he's not crabby to us," Briana said.

"That's because he's secretly arranging to put you out at a two for one sale for slavery," Leif quipped. "There's a lot of money to be paid for little girls with blonde hair."

"MAMA!" Briana yelled.

"Damn, girl, can you keep it down to a dull roar? You almost blew out my eardrums," Leif cried.

"What's going on?" Mariah asked.

"Leif says Daddy is planning to sell us to slavery," Bobbie pouted.

"For a lot of money 'cause we're girls and got blonde hair," Briana added.

"Leif Brian, what have I told you about saying things like that to them?" Mariah said sternly.

"Well, they were being a pain in the butt, like always."

"Still, don't tell them things like that." She turned to comfort the little blonde girls. "Daddy's not selling you to anyone. Besides, he'd have to ask me first."

Bobbie stuck her tongue out a Leif. "So there."

"Little brats," he snorted.

"And speaking of slavery, young man, you need to clean up this room, not to mention Squishy's box needs done."

"Aw, Mom. I'm tired. Can I do it later?"

"Your dad's gone almost 300 days a year and still does things around here. Now get your butt in gear and—"

"Yeah, yeah." Leif dragged himself out of bed. "I'll get it done after I'm dressed."

"All right, breakfast will be downstairs," Mariah reminded him.

She went downstairs, the twin girls in tow, as Leif made his way down the hall toward the bathroom. He had discovered Brian's cigarette stash the night before while getting ready for the dance and slipped one out of the cubbyhole and lit it, opening the window and locked the door before taking a few long drags. Leif had tried it at school with a couple of guys; he'd coughed at first, but then it seemed cool..

Besides, Leif reasoned, Dad smoked, and if _he_ was doing it, surely it couldn't be all as bad as Mom let on.

Once he'd finished the cigarette, Leif flushed the butt down the toilet, sprayed Febreze, took a quick shower and dressed before joining his mom and sisters downstairs for breakfast. Between Naomi letting him cop a feel the night before and the smoke he'd just had, he was feeling a lot more manly this morning.

_Meanwhile:_

"Michael Preston London, I will freaking snap your neck in two!" Mac seethed

Michael laughed. "Good luck with that. I'm bigger than you these days and could easily kick your ass if you weren't a girl. And Pops taught me not to hit chicks."

"I cannot believe you would do that to Kent!"

"What? It isn't like it's not common knowledge dude drives on both sides of the highway. I was just trying to prove a point."

"By stealing his phone and posing as a gay sex line when I called? You are such a pig!"

"You never notice him checking guys' asses when you go out? Damn, Mac, a blind person could see that shit. He's ogled Pops' ass when he's here, not to mention I've caught him staring at mine." Michael shuddered at the last statement. "And for the record, I don't swing that way."

"It's bad enough to have _Papi _in my business all the time; evidently he's forgotten I'm now a grown woman. The last thing I need is a fifteen year old kid sticking his nose where it doesn't belong."

"You ever stop to think Pops and I are just looking out for you girls?"

"I'm serious, Mike. Stay with your high school bullshit and keep out of my life. If there's a problem with Kent, he's my boyfriend and I'll deal with it. No more of your stupid pranks."

"Suit yourself. No skin off my ass if you want to be with a closet homo. I prefer my dates to have a nice rack myself. By the way, did you get a tit job recently?"

"_Michael!" _Mac exclaimed.

"Well, they're hard not to notice, and it isn't like you had much before."

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes."

"And to think you're wasting those babies on that loser Kent. So what made you want to blow up your boobs? You ain't planning on doing porn or something, are you?"

"For God's sake, Mike, do you ever quit? No. I was wanting to model on the side and well, the agency said I needed some, well, let's say 'enhancing' to get some jobs."

Michael's eyes widened. "_Naked? _Jesus, Pops would have a stroke."

"No, bikini work, trade shows, things like that."

Michael let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Jesus. I can deal with that kind of stuff. Kind of creepy saying this about my sister, but you are kind of hot in a bathing suit."

Mac managed a smile. "Considering it's coming from my little brother that's a typical horny teenager, I feel flattered. Now no more pulling pranks on my friends. Got it?"

Michael nodded. "As long as I get the first autographed copy of your very first gig, no problem. But no naked shit."

She kissed his cheek, causing Michael to blush a little. "I promise."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

During the Christmas season the same year, both families made their rounds to the usual festivities, even things such as the twins' Christmas play.

"I can't believe I'm being tortured like this," Leif groaned.

"Oh come on, be a sport. Look how cute they are," Naomi said cheerfully.

"I hope you know I'm really only sitting through this because of you, outside of Mom and Dad dragging me. Of course, I guess it can't be any worse than when Dad dressed me up and put fake antlers on me when I was four."

Brian, within earshot, began to snicker.

"Not funny, Dad," Leif said, glaring.

"What? You rocked those antlers, boy. Why do you think I had your mother take a picture?"

"Yeah, and make Christmas cards out of them to send to half the world, including the whole locker room, not to mention Gram didn't let me live it down for who knows how long."

"Don't know what you're complaining about; you had divas pinching your cheeks and telling me what a handsome kid I had every time I brought you."

"Oh God," Leif groaned again, then turned to Naomi. "Do people have kids just to embarrass them?"

"Maybe," she shrugged. "_Papi_ does goofy stuff too."

"Of course, he was really fun to mess with when he was on the pain medication when he hurt his back," Kira giggled.

"Especially the whole spider thing," Michael snickered.

"And giving us raises in our allowances," Kira added. "_Big _raises."

"So that's how it's done," Leif replied.

"Yep," Michael nodded. "Slip them a few feel good pills and they're putty in your hands."

"Evil, all of you," Paul spoke up. "In Brian's case, though, all it would take is some good ganja."

"Shut up!" Brian said, giving him a whack. "Don't be saying that shit around my kid."

"And Mom usually waits till he's drunk anyway," Leif said, laughing. "She says it's the best way to take advantage."

"As broke as I am paying off Santa, remind me not to fall for that one anymore," Brian said. "Now all of you hush, my little darlings are going to sing."

Leif let out yet another groan. "That song again…..like we haven't heard it two thousand times at home. I think I'm going to barf."

"Shush," Naomi chided him, putting her head on his shoulder as the girls performed.

When they finished, the audience applauded, Mariah beaming with pride. While Leif clapped politely, Brian stood up and turned around, grinning like a Cheshire cat and extended out his arms.

"Thank you!" he exclaimed. "Those are my girls; just another reason one cannot touch greatness!"

"Brian, sit down and quit making an ass of yourself," Mariah said.

Leif sank down in his seat, muttering that he hoped the floor opened up and swallowed him. "Can he not embarrass me any further?"

"I wonder if he and Pops got in the egg nog a little early," Michael wondered, slinking down with him. "They've been more weird than usual all night."

"Let's walk about fifty feet ahead of them when this is over and hope no one remembers they were with us," Leif suggested. "Just when I think Dad can't embarrass me any more, he pulls out something else stupid."

"Problem is, we still have to suffer the Christmas Eve party after this," Michael reminded him.

"Great," Leif rolled his eyes. "Another Christmas of hell."

_Later:_

"You can have one cookie and then you have to go to bed before Santa comes," Mariah told the twins.

"But we want to stay up and see him," Bobbie protested.

"He won't come if you're still up," Kira reminded her.

"Does Leif have to go to bed too?" Briana asked.

"No, we need him to stay up to help Santa find the house," Paul said, giving Mariah a wink.

"We can do that," Bobbie nodded.

"Of course, but it isn't safe for little girls to go out in the dark."

"If we go to bed, do we get a Christmas story?" Briana asked.

"Absolutely," Montana volunteered. "As a matter of fact, I have one picked out for you."

"Okay!" they both cried.

"Finish your cookie and egg nog," Mariah reminded them. "Then it's time to go upstairs."

"Mama, we don't have a chimney," Bobbie said.

"Yeah," Briana added. "How's Santa going to get in to leave our stuff?"

"Simple," Leif spoke up. "Through the back door."

"That's no fun," Bobbie replied thoughtfully.

"Look at it this way, girls," Kira said. "At least you won't have to worry about him getting stuck if he comes through the door."

"That's right," Mac joined in. "And you'll still get your presents because you were such good girls."

"When they weren't attacking and torturing me," Leif responded.

"Enjoy it, man," Michael grinned, patting his shoulder. "In ten years, you're going to have to help out your dad with the headache of keeping creepy dudes away from them."

"Oh yes, nothing like a pesky brother and father to poke into your love life," Mac rolled her eyes.

"For your own good, Sis," Michael responded.

"I am going to take these little princesses upstairs," Montana announced. "They had a long night and Santa is due to arrive soon. Come on, sweeties," she added, taking the twins' hands. "Story time."

_Around midnight:_

"How many pieces does this thing have again?" Brian asked.

Leif studied the box. "One hundred and fifty."

"Jesus Christ," Paul groaned. "It's like we've been working on this dream house forever. This better be worth the headache."

"They better," Brian said, putting in another piece. "Both of them have been driving their mother and me nuts to get this thing for the last three months."

"They couldn't be happy with the dolls and the car they have," Leif added. "Nooooooooo, they have to have a house. I'm glad I'm not a girl."

"Be glad your birthday also isn't on Christmas," Paul said. "That alone has to suck."

"It's hard to believe they're going to be six tomorrow," Mariah said, handing them another piece. "It seems it wasn't long ago we were bringing those girls home from the hospital."

"Double the fun of them screaming, sleeping and shitting," Brian added. "At least now they're at the age where they're cute."

"Wait till they start school full time," Montana reminded them.

"Been there, done that," Brian replied, jacking a thumb toward Leif. "Now he's a teenager."

"Am I really that bad?" Leif asked.

"Not really, when you're not being moody, that is. Then again, look how many years experience I had dealing with that from being around Paul."

"I am not moody," Paul replied.

"Ha," Mariah snickered. "I'm sure Montana would beg to differ."

"That's just one way I make her beg," he countered with an evil grin.

"Yeah, and you have Mike and Naomi to prove that much," Brian laughed.

"Eww, did you have to go there?" Michael made a face and shuddered.

"Dad, you just put that part in backwards," Leif pointed out to Brian.

"Shit," he replied, yanking it out.

"Mimi, we have a suggestion for next year," Paul said.

"Oh?" Mariah wondered. "What's that?"

"Next time your darling daughters want something for Christmas, make sure it comes already assembled. Then Santa won't be so grouchy the next morning."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

"Did I mention how grateful I am Christmas is over for another year?" Paul asked as they picked at leftover cookies and snacks.

Michael laughed. "Only like six dozen times, Pops. By the way, thanks again for the phone."

"Just don't go nuts running up the bill bullshitting with your harem of girlfriends."

"What harem? I'm only seeing Mia."

Leif let out a loud belch. "Good stuff."

"Eww, Leif!" Naomi made a face.

"What? Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?"

"You are gross." Kira shook her head.

"Like father, like son," Paul replied.

"Shut up," Brian smacked him as Paul laughed. "Hey, Mimi, can you get me another beer?"

"Last time I checked, your legs weren't broken," Mariah answered.

"Jesus Christ," Brian muttered, getting up. "I had to marry a smart ass."

"And where are the girls?" she added.

"In the basement playing with the house that we men stood up all night putting together while you girls got your beauty sleep." He grabbed a beer and went back to the sofa.

"All one hundred and fifty pieces of it," Paul added. "And Mac's down there with them."

"Here I thought you loved putting things together," Montana grinned, patting his leg.

"Yeah, but as of this year, I'm retiring. That thing was hell."

"You're telling me," Leif agreed. "I had to read the directions to Dad and he still had to tear the thing apart a few times to put it together right. And don't get me started on how he nearly sliced off a finger on one of the pieces and sent blood all over."

"So I'm not mechanically inclined," Brian said. "So sue me."

"You can say that again," Mariah nodded. "We're talking about a person that isn't safe near sharp objects, heat, or fire."

"How is your finger anyway?" Paul asked.

Brian held up his index finger, heavily bandaged. "Wonderful. At least I didn't bleed to death. I think from here I'm making a New Year's resolution not to put things together."

"Good idea," Kira nodded. "Then we won't have to worry about any fatalities."

The phone rang. "I got it, guys," Michael spoke up. "It's probably Mia anyway. We're planning on going to the New Year's fireworks with some of the kids from school."

He then answered it and with a look of disgust, went to the basement door. "Hey, Mac! Pick up the phone down there! It's your fag boyfriend!"

"Michael Preston!" Montana scolded. "What have I told you about that?"

"Well, it's true," Michael shrugged, going back to his spot in front of the TV.

"Dude, really," Leif said. "My little sisters are down there and they'll be asking more stupid questions later."

"No question is ever stupid, boy," Brian reminded him.

"Kent's a nice guy," Kira said. "He's good to Mac. So what if he might like guys too?"

Michael shuddered. "Ewww."

"Anyway, what's for dinner?" Brian asked.

"Good God, you boys have been pigging out on snacks and cookies nearly all day and now you want to know what's for dinner?" Montana gave him an incredulous look.

"Typical men, _Mami," _Naomi giggled. "Vacuum cleaners with teeth."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Leif teased.

"Maybe it is," she teased back, "or maybe it isn't."

"In answer to the question, it's leftovers," Mariah spoke up. "I know that's nothing exciting, but it's a sin to let all this go to waste."

"Turkey and ham sandwiches," Michael nodded. "I can deal with that."

"Along with potato pancakes and fried yams," Mariah added.

"Yes!"

"There's also plenty of pie left," Montana replied, "though I have a feeling those will be killed off by the end of the evening."

"Speaking of festivities," Paul asked, "any ideas for New Year's?"

"I guess just the usual thing," Brian shrugged. "Most of the kids will be gone anyway."

"Fantastic, I get to watch you cheat at Scrabble again before the ball drops and I get to molest my wife."

"Eww, Pops, stop! I don't need that vision in my head!" Michael cried.

"I do not cheat," Brian protested.

"No offense, Dad, but you do," Leif said. "Mom's seen it too."

"Hey, you're my son; you're supposed to stick up for me."

Leif shook his head, grinning. "You also said it yourself, Dad; life's too short for bullshit. Be blatant, be honest, be real, live how you want and don't care what anyone thinks."

Brian grinned back at him with pride. "Kind of nice to know you listened to something, boy. Now make it your New Year's resolution to put words into action. And for the last time, I do _not_ cheat at Scrabble."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"Mimi, what the hell are you doing?" Brian asked while they were getting ready to join Paul and Montana for New Year's.

Mariah was looking at the scale, concerned that perhaps she may have had a few too many Christmas cookies and it would catch up to her. "What does it look like?"

"We are not getting into 'my ass is getting fatter' discussion again.."

"I'd like to stay in decent shape and not be some kind of embarrassment to you and the kids."

"Jesus Christ, Mimi, you gave birth to beautiful little twin girls and the other blond thing that happened to grow up to be a moody vacuum cleaner with teeth. Fuck weight; I don't care how much you weigh; you're gorgeous and carry yourself well just as you are."

He then picked up the scale, about to leave the room.

"What are you doing?" Mariah wondered.

"Taking this fucking scale to the Dumpster," Brian replied. "We're going to start the new year off right by having you as the role model to our girls that women don't have to be perfect to have worth. Believe it or not, even your own son worships the ground you walk on and doesn't give a shit what you weigh either, though Leif may not always act it. Why do you think he's all batshit about Naomi since they were kids? She reminds him of his ma!"

Mariah had to smile. "Actually, she looks more like Montana, but I think I know what you're getting at."

He patted her. "That's my Mimi. Hey, can you wear the pink outfit tonight? I like how the pants show off your ass. Plus Paul hates that thing and I feel like annoying him."

"I should have known there was a motive behind that," she laughed. "But since you happened to bolster my ego up five hundred percent, I can at least do that much."

_Meanwhile:_

"For the love of God, Paul!" Montana complained when he had let a rampant fart. "Couldn't that have been done in the bathrooom?"

"You expect me to go clear upstairs just to _fart?"_

She shook her head. "One would think after all these years, I would have you figured out."

"_Nobody_ figures out the Londonator."

"Brian's right about one thing, Pops; those things can be heard two rooms away," Michael said.

"Don't you have anything better to do, boy?" Paul asked. "I thought you were going with your buddies and girlfriend tonight."

"I am. I'm waiting for Jason to call back when he gets the car from his pops."

Kira had come down, dressed to go meet Mac and then clubbing with their own friends. "I'm off to see Mac, guys," she announced.

"Just a minute, missy," Paul said, stopping her. "Surely you are not going out looking like that."

"What?" Kira looked herself over. "I don't exactly look like a hooker."

"That skirt is too short; you bend the wrong way, the world will see your ass."

"Paul, it's barely above her knees," Montana pointed out.

"Really, _Papi_, you can't expect me to look like a prairie girl all the time, do you? This is probably modest compared to what Mac will likely have on."

"You'll get cold," he protested, "and you'll have slimy guys all over you."

"_Papi, _Kent is going to be with us. The club will be warm and if any 'slimy guys' as you call them bother me, he will be more than happy to chase them off."

"Don't be drinking," he ordered. "It's against the law for you anyway."

"I have no choice even if it wasn't," Kira shook her head. "I'm the designated driver."

"Good girl." He then turned to Montana. "Are you sure her skirt isn't too short?"

"It's perfectly fine, Father," she replied, shaking her head in disbelief. "May I remind you that Kira is almost twenty years old, a young woman."

"You look great, Sis!" Michael called from the next room.

Paul gave her some money. "Oh, all right. But don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Kira gave him a kiss. "Thank you, _Papi."_

_Later that night:_

"Mac just called," Montana said, hanging up the phone. "She wanted to check in to say she and Kira are fine and will be home around two thirty."

"Works for me," Paul nodded.

"At least all of them got invited somewhere," Naomi sulked. "I'm stuck here."

"Me too," Leif snorted. "Happy New Year. Yee haw. I'd be bored out of my butt if Naomi wasn't here."

"You two say that like it's a bad thing," Brian said. "You think I didn't sit home a lot of nights when I was your age? And face it, boy, you wouldn't have agreed to come with your mother and me if Naomi wasn't here."

Naomi lit up. "You came because of me?"

"Um…yeah, I guess." Leif blushed a little.

"I'm glad," she nodded. "At least I can talk to somebody."

"And Mom got a babysitter for the Pesky Twins so I don't have to deal with them either," he grinned back. "You want to do something?"

"_Papi _got me some new movies for Christmas," Naomi nodded, unaware her father was grinning behind her. "We can watch them in the basement."

"The wrestling channel is on too!" Brian added with a cheesy grin.

"Like I don't see enough of that at home, Dad," Leif rolled his eyes. "Come on, Nom, we can go see the movies while the old folks play Scrabble or whatever."

Paul looked up as they made their way to the basement. "Old folks?"

"To them we are," Mariah clarified.

"And heeeeeeeeeeeeeere's the game board," Brian announced, putting out the Scrabble. "Ready to get your ass handed to you, PL?"

"More like watch you cheat," Paul replied.

"Are we going to go through this again?" Mariah asked.

Montana had come up with snacks and drinks, setting them down. "Paul, you left the garage door open again when you came home earlier."

"Oh, Jesus. The damn opener must be acting up."

"Will you please make it one of your resolutions to have the new one your mother got us put in?"

"Yeah, yeah, if you make a resolution not to nag so much."

"Very funny." Her mood then changed. "I got the last of the Doritos at the store today and the picante sauce you like."

"I think I'm in love with you all over again."

"So I see you're geared up for Scrabble."

"Yep, ready for Brian to cheat yet again."

"I don't cheat," Brian protested. "I'm just smart."

"Since when?" Paul asked jokingly. Brian rewarded him with a whack on the head.

"All right, kids, settle down," Montana teased. "Let's get this game started."

"That isn't a word," Paul said at one point, scowling.

"Oh shit, here we go," Mariah groaned.

"Is so," Brian said, shoving over the dictionary. "Look it up, fuck-o."

"Where are you getting all these weird words?"

"Comes with have a genius kid that's in gifted classes," Brian replied, before looking up to see Leif. "As a matter of fact, here he is now."

"What?" Leif asked. "I was just coming to get snacks for me and Naomi."

A loud sound then filled the room, distracting them.

"God, Paul, not again!" Montana cried. "I've had to deal with this all day."

"Better out than in, and it's just all of you," he answered. "Not like no one in this room heard me rip one before."

"Now you know what I put up with when we were touring together," Brian spoke up. "I hated sleeping in the same room with him, because his ass sounded like a French horn all night."

"You aren't kidding," Montana agreed. "I'm married to him, remember?"

"Thanks you two," Paul said. "Are you finished now?"

"Well, they don't SMELL or ANYTHING, they're just LOUD," Brian continued.

Leif got into the spirit. "Dad's smell, though."

"Oh hell yes," Paul answered. "Good God, I had to leave the room."

"I still do," Mariah added. "I think that man's gas could be a deadly weapon."

Paul laughed. "SMELLED LIKE ROTTEN SPINACH ROASTING ON DEAD RATS HAVING SEX!"

"Well, gee, I apologize," Brian said.

"What's worse is that they're _silent_," Mariah made a face.

"And deadly," Leif added.

"Boy, you aren't much better," Brian scoffed.

"He got it from his old man," Paul said. _"Oquela_, you don't hear them, but you smell them."

"And every time either of them do it, I always know because both of them have to restrain themselves from laughing."

"I know!" Paul cried. "When we'd share a room, all I had to do was look and see a smirk, before putting a pillow over my face and thinking 'This is bullshit.'"

"So there you have it," Brian concluded. "Paul's and Mike's are the loud and smell-less ones, mine and Leif's are silent but deadly."

Brian then put down a few more tiles. "Hey, more points for me!"

"That isn't a word, Silent But Deadly," Paul gruffed.

"Is," Brian said with a smug look. "Look….."

"I know, I know," Paul grabbed the dictionary. "Look it up."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**Mac: Age 27**

**Kira: Age 24**

**Michael: Age 20**

**Naomi: Age 18**

**Leif: Age 19**

**Briana and Bobbie: Age 10**

"Run around on my sister and if I find out about I will cut your balls off," Michael grumbled in Kent's ear at his and Mac's wedding reception. "And if you think _I'm_ bad, don't even try crossing Pops."

"Mike, come on, cut the shit. I've been with Mac for five years and she's the only girl I love. I wouldn't have married her if I didn't. She knows about me being bi, accepted it, and even let me know if I need a man, she'll understand. Your folks and sisters have no problem with it. Why should you?"

Michael nodded curtly. "Maybe you're right, but I hope you wrap that dick of yours when you decide to put it up some guy's ass. Don't be bringing diseases home to my sister."

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes, Mike, I always use protection, even with Mac. We're not exactly ready for kids yet. I think Naomi will have everyone's hands full with that as it is."

Mac wandered over, putting an arm around her brother and new husband. "You boys having fun?"

"You could say that," Michael nodded. "Just reminding Kent here about the power of the London men."

"Be nice, Mike," she warned.

"There you are, you sexy thing," Mia came up and hugged him. "I need a gorgeous man to dance with."

Michael's mood changed and he raised a mischievous eyebrow. "Well, tonight's your lucky night, beautiful," he said; leading her away. "I happen to be free."

"That's the funniest thing," she giggled. "You said the exact same thing when you took me to the prom two years ago."

"And who knows, my love," he smiled down at her. "I may also be saying them at our own wedding."

_Meanwhile:_

In the course of the past year, Naomi had graduated from high school, been accepted into college, and had begun her freshman year when she had discovered she was pregnant. Leif was a sophomore at his own college, making the dean's list and being at the top of his class each semester, and both had them had been scared out of her minds about the pregnancy.

It hadn't been the baby either was worried about; both were nervous about facing their parents with the news, particularly their fathers. Naomi had been her _papi's_ little princess and now coming home pregnant at eighteen would likely throw him for a loop–if not into a rage. And God only knew how Brian would react.

Both parents had been shocked–at least at first. They had all been concerned that Leif and Naomi were so young, but once the idea of them sharing a grandchild had settled in, their mothers had gone into the grandmothers-to-be mode.

"How much do you want to wager which grandpa will spoil the baby the most?" Mariah teased as they had shopped for baby clothes. They had just found out Naomi was going to have a girl and were planning accordingly.

"Judging how much both of them talk about it, I say it's going to be a draw," Montana said, looking over a layette.

"And considering how Paul is with little girls, this should be interesting," Mariah added. "It will be a barrel of laughs seeing my husband in the role, though, being our own girls have been driving him nuts."

Now a few months away from her nineteenth birthday, Naomi had been heavily pregnant at Mac's wedding. She hadn't wanted to be a bridesmaid in her condition, but Mac had insisted, even having a special maternity bridesmaid's gown made for her little sister.

Despite her condition, Naomi still went to college full time as well as held a part time job, not letting anything get in the way of getting a degree. Her parents had been great role models in the work ethic and dedication, and she wanted to make them proud as well as be a role model for her own daughter.

Things would be tough for awhile, but Naomi accepted it, knowing once she'd had her nursing degree and Leif had gotten his engineering one, things would get better, and she loved him so much. Of course, they also had the support and encouragement of their parents.

The twins had been excited about becoming aunts, as had Kira and Mac. Kira had already volunteered her baby sitting services and was working hard toward her own degree with the dream of opening her own day care center. She loved kids and looked forward to have her coming niece being her first "client."

Michael, of course, would be the doting uncle and godfather. He had picked up Paul's knack of being good with kids and having them drawn to him like a magnet, another quality in him that Mia had adored. He was in his junior year of college, working toward his degree with the goal of being a sports trainer. Hell, if he could, Michael was even thinking of going the distance and applying to medical school with the prospect of being a doctor in sports medicine. He had grown up seeing his pops successful in sports and theater, even training young, high flying wrestlers in Mexico, and Michael wanted to be just as successful.

Michael himself had wrestled in some independent promotions and Japan, but between his plans for college and missing Mia so much, he had given it up with the exception of doing a local show now and then for "pocket money."

Bobbie and Briana had grown to be beautiful, blond little girls, now halfway through fifth grade, but both were different as night and day. While Briana loved playing with her dolls and wearing "girly" things Mariah bought them, Bobbie had scoffed dresses, dolls, and doll houses, preferring to climb trees, play video games, and wrestle the neighborhood boys. She loved sports and had been thrilled when her Uncle Neal had gotten her a new hockey stick for Christmas, autographed by her favorite team. It now adorned the wall on her side of the room with the sports posters and youth soccer and baseball trophies.

While her mother shook her head in disbelief at Bobbie being such a rough and tumble child, she had been her daddy's girl, Brian reminding his wife a few scratches here and there on "Bob" would build character. He had adored Briana too, but she had turned up her nose at the opportunity to go to a football game, preferring to go to the garden show with her mother.

"Face it, Brian," Mariah said, "at least one of them remembers she's a girl."

"This coming from a woman who worked on the ring crew and used language that would have made the biggest wrestler blush before we were married," he reminded her.

Bobbie had fought wearing a junior bridesmaid's dress for Mac's wedding while Briana had glowed at the idea, and even now, Mariah had to settle the girl down from challenging one of the boys at the wedding to a wrestling match, not wanting Bobbie to ruin the gown; the twins' dresses had set Mariah back a pretty penny.

"Sometimes I think I have two sons instead of one," she complained to Montana.

Montana understood. "If it's any comfort, some of them outgrow it. Look how well Mackenzie turned out. There was a tomboy, and now look at her, a beautiful bride."

"Lord I hope so," Mariah sighed. "I think Bobbie's more like her dad than Leif ever was."

"How is expectant daddy getting along, by the way?" Montana asked.

"He's good," Mariah nodded. "Still working hard. He's determined to give the baby a good life. It and Naomi are all he talks about anymore. 'His girls' this and 'his girls' that. How many nineteen year old boys do you find like that?"

"None come to mind," Montana said. "I think Leif may be the first."

"How is Naomi?" Mariah wondered.

"Quite uncomfortable as we know, but other than that, the doctor told her the baby is coming along fine. She's dropped a bit and I'm concerned she might deliver early, though."

"Sounds like me when I carried Leif," Mariah nodded. "Of course, I think he would have come early anyway even if we hadn't been in that car accident."

"And for a baby who had a rough start, he turned out well, didn't he?"

Mariah beamed. "He sure did. Now if I could do something with one Barbara Jean, things would be a little better."

"Give it five years," Montana nodded. "Before you know it, Bobbie will be chasing boys instead of trying to wrestle them."

_Across the room:_

Paul and Brian had been making the rounds with some of the wedding guests as Kent's "proper" mother had sat at a table, staring icily in disapproval. Her son could have had his choice of lovely socialites, but he had married that .

Helena had found Mac ill-bred and her family even more a bunch of savages. Good heavens, the youngest sister was _pregnant _and not even married to the father, Mac's own father and brother vile who peppered their speech with foul language, and Kira a little too perky and flaky.. The only person Helena found even remotely appealing was Montana. How did that poor woman get in with such a bunch of buffoons?

She would have really had a stroke had she'd known her own precious, "perfect" son was bisexual, and his new bride had accepted him that way, encouraging him to fuck men had that itch had indeed needed scratched.

And those _Kendricks_. Helena shuddered. Sure, the boy who fathered Naomi's child was brilliant, but like his father, Leif was blatant and sometimes too honest for his own good, taking cue from Brian to speak his own mind and didn't give a shit what anyone thought. Both father and son also had no sense of shame, telling dirty jokes and using bad language of their own, Brian downing beer like it was water, belching and announcing it to the world, and then sneaking off with Leif to smoke when Mariah's back was turned.

Brian had just come back inside from one of his sneaky smoke breaks, joining Paul for yet another beer and chatting with some other people when a young man came up behind them, addressing them formally.

"Hello," Paul grinned, shaking the young man's hand. "You somehow know me and Brian here, but I don't think I've met you."

"No, sir, you haven't. But I certainly do know about both of you. You see, my name is Paul Brian Southerlyn. My mother was shot the night I was born and you saved her life."

"Oh my God," Brian said, taking in a breath. "I remember that. The arena parking lot. I tackled the guy who shot that woman."

"I know," Paul Brian nodded. "Mom told me everything. She and Dad were so grateful for you saving her life that she named me for both of you. I've tried for a long time from the time I got out of high school to track you down."

"How….how did you find us?" Paul asked.

"Don't worry, I'm not a stalker. Your son happens to attend the same college I do, and when I heard the last name, I had to approach him. When Mike told me you were his dad, I knew I was right all along and could finally thank you both personally for my and Mom still being on this earth. Mike invited me, under the condition you didn't know until I approached you myself."

"I always wondered what happened to that baby," Brian grinned. "Now I know."

"How is your mother these days?" Paul inquired.

"She and Dad are still very much in love and have a successful business," Paul Brian said. "They're going to be grandparents next spring. My wife and I are having our first child."

"You're in college and married already?" Brian was intrigued. "And having a kid?"

"You must have your hands full," Paul added.

"Pretty much," Paul Brian replied. "It kind of happened unexpectedly, but the most honorable thing for me to do was marry my child's mother and step up to the plate. We both work at my parents' business, and they're helping when they can too."

Paul and Brian stared at each other. "Sounds like Leif and Naomi, only without them working in their parents' business and being married," Paul said.

"We're going to be grandpas too," Brian explained to Paul Brian.

"Really? Congratulations."

"It's a baby girl," Paul beamed.

"Ours is a boy," Paul Brian laughed. "This is so amazing how I found you guys and this is all happening at the same time."

"Yes," Paul agreed, "and there are also things in life we don't always expect."


	30. Chapter 30CONCLUSION

**Chapter 30-CONCLUSION**

Five days after Mac's wedding, Naomi had gone into labor and was taken to the hospital by Montana and Kira.

"_Mami," _she breathed between contractions, "I'm scared. It hurts."

Montana gave her daughter's hand a gentle squeeze. "I know, sweetheart, and I'm right here with you."

"Where's Leif?" Naomi asked. "Does he know I'm here?"

"Kira's getting hold of him and your father," Montana assured her.

Another contraction hit, causing Naomi to cry out.

"Breathe, Naomi," Montana instructed her. "Remember the Lamaze exercises. Don't push yet; you're not dilated enough."

"Get it out of me!" Naomi cried. "Leif's going to die when he gets here." She gritted her teeth.

"Honey, I wanted to rip off your father's testicles when I was having Michael and then you, but trust me, once you see this beautiful baby, all that will pass."

"But _when?" _Naomi whined. "It's taking so long for this baby to come."

"The first child usually does, sweetheart. Just try to relax and it should be over soon."

_Meanwhile:_

"Jesus Christ, Brian, one would think this was _your _kid the way you're driving like a bat out of hell," Paul said, hanging on for life.

"Yeah, Dad, you almost got us killed by a bus and nearly hit some poor sap on a bicycle," Leif added.

"You want to get to the hospital on time to see your daughter born or not?" Brian asked.

"Yes, preferably not taking other lives while we're at it," Leif replied. "I'm nervous as hell as it is about this kid."

"Spanky, slow the fuck down; you almost hit that old lady," Paul yelled. "Fucking hell, pull over and let me drive."

"Are you nuts? If you drive, by the time we got there, Naomi would have popped the kid."

"Then slow your ass down a little. You're scaring the hell out of Leif back there."

"All right, don't lose your shit. We're almost there anyway."

"Thank God," Leif sighed. "Now if we would just get there alive."

_Later:_

"Leif Kendrick, you're going to die for this!" Naomi screamed with the last push. "_Die, _I say! You better enjoy this baby because it's going to be the last!"

"Uh…Nom? I didn't ask for the rubber to break," Leif said slowly, wondering why such a sweet girl was suddenly a demon.

"Get stronger ones next time!" she yelled.

"Just a few more minutes, Naomi," the doctor assured her. "Then your little girl will be here."

"Get it out," she sobbed. "Please."

"One more push. Ready?"

Naomi bit her lip and nodded, nearly crushing Leif's hand as she gave one final push before a healthy yell filled the delivery room. Their baby daughter had arrived and Leif took pride in cutting her cord.

"Is she okay? Is she okay?" Naomi asked anxiously.

"She's perfect," the doctor smiled, holding up the baby.

"Holy hell, clean her up," Leif coughed. "She's a mess."

Naomi smacked his head. "My God, Leif, surely you didn't expect her to come out already washed and dressed, did you?"

"No, but damn, how am I supposed to see what she looks like with all that mess on her?"

The doctor had laughed at the exchange, handing the baby to a nurse to clean her up.

"Am I still going to die?" Leif asked hesitantly.

Naomi looked at him lovingly, once again the sweet, shy girl he adored. "Not if I can help it. I love you so much."

He kissed the top of her head. "I love you too, princess."

_The following morning:_

"Damn, our kids made one beautiful baby, didn't they?" Brian crowed as they stared at little Aida Cierra sleeping contentedly in the nursery.

"Won't argue there," Paul agreed. _"Mi bebe hermosa."_

"Hey, don't forget she's my granddaughter, too. She's got an Italian name first and a Mexican name second. How do you like that?"

"Yeah, but she's got a full head of black hair, so sucks to be you," Paul laughed, giving Brian's blond locks a playful tug. "Now here's hoping she'll shock us all and not be a midget."

"Yuk it up with the short jokes, PL," Brian grinned, "but need I remind you both of her parents are short, which increases Aida's chance of being short too." He blew a raspberry.

"You have to admit the kid's got one hell of a mix, though," Paul said. "Mexican and Indian on my side, German and English on Montana's, some white mix on Mimi's, and Italian and Russian on yours. Jesus Christ."

"We'll just call her Heinz 57 and be done with it," Brian laughed.

"You're not giving our grandchild any weird names," Paul replied.

"Damn, are you two bickering over who gets first dibs on Aida?" Leif chuckled as he came up behind them. "I will have you know that I happen to be the _father_ here." He pulled something from his pockets. "Have a cigar."

"How's Naomi?" Paul asked, taking one. "We were just headed down to see her after looking at the baby."

"Doing good," Leif nodded. "Mom, Kira and Montana are down there now. Mac and Kent called and said they can't wait to get back from the Bahamas to see Aida, and Mike went to get coffee for everybody. Gran said she'll bring up the twins tomorrow for sibling day, though technically, Aida is their niece."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Brian nodded. "Let's go join the women and let our new princess have her rest. She's got a long, exciting life ahead of her after all."

_Two days later:_

Naomi had brought Aida home; she and Leif loomed about nervously as the tiny girl was passed around to relatives on both sides of their families.

"Dad, Jesus, watch what you're doing, you almost dropped her," Leif gasped.

"You think I never held a kid before?" Brian asked, giving him a look. "Briana, here, your turn to hold her."

"Yay!" she cried, happily taking the baby.

"Easy," Leif chided. "She isn't one of your dolls."

"I know." Briana cradled Aida gently for a few minutes before she spoke again. "Daddy, Aida smells kind of funny."

"She's a baby; it's baby smell," Leif replied.

"No, she smells _really funny_," Briana repeated.

"Oh God, not again," Brian said, realizing what she was talking about once he had a whiff. "And it isn't piss this time. Paul!"

"What?" he called from the kitchen.

"Your turn to hold Aida," Brian called, smirking.

"About time," Paul said, coming for the baby before he realized what hit him.

"Oh come on, Brian, this wasn't funny. You should have said she needed changed."

"Yeah, and it's your turn," he replied, giving Paul a tiny wave. "Have fun, Grandpa."

Paul gave him a dirty look as he took the baby to change her. "I despise you."

"Brian, that was cruel," Michael said, restraining himself from laughing.

"What? I changed the last one. Your dad should get used to it if he's going to be a proper grandparent."

"Yeah, but the diaper you had was the one Aida peed in," Michael pointed out. "Pops is back there with a fully loaded one. He's going to kill you."

"Wouldn't be the first time either of us played in baby shit," Brian replied. "And for at least the next year and a half, it won't be the last either."

_A year later:_

Aida squirmed in Mariah's lap as both families witnessed Leif and Naomi finally being married. Mac had marked her own first wedding anniversary and, expecting her own child in the spring, and now stood as her sister's matron of honor. It was almost as if she and Naomi had switched roles. Naomi was now the bride and Mac the expectant mother.

The happy couple now strode down the aisle as Michael scooped a laughing Aida into his arms. "See that, baby doll? Your mom finally married your pops. Took them long enough, huh?"

"Which reminds me," Paul spoke up. "When are you going to pop the question to Mia? Your _mami_ and I aren't getting any younger and I'd like to pass on my name."

"Pops, come on, are you going to start this again?"

"I've already married off two of my girls. Is it unreasonable I want to see my only son married and having his own son?"

"I just turned twenty-one, Pops, and got into medical school. It will be awhile yet, though I can't think of anyone I'd like to spend the rest of my life with than Mia."

"Then get busy, boy," Paul nodded. "A prize like that won't be around forever."

"Let's just say it will be official come next Christmas and leave it at that," Michael grinned to his parents. "But not a word to Mia. If things go well, we'll be the next couple standing at that aisle next year."

"And watch," Montana quipped. "Kira will be the next one pregnant as much time as she spends with Keith. Come on, you matchmakers, we have a wedding reception to get to."


End file.
